but now that i've (at least legally) been an adult for a while, i still keep wondering what it really means to be a grown up. you know, to be a MAN.
i mean, lets think about what it takes.. the speed of a coursing river? the force of a great typhoon? the strength of a raging fire? or perhaps the mystery and secrecy kept on the dark side of the moon..
well, to be honest, i don't really know what it takes. i try to think of some people i've looked up to-- seminary teachers, young men leaders, my student teaching mentor, my radical brothers and brother in law...
but of course it's my dad who takes the cake, hands down.
today's my dad's 65th birthday. well, it's SUPPOSED to be his 65th birthday. i guess i can't really legitimately say that he's 65 and i won't ever get to tease him for being old, but whatever.
i've never really felt like really ever needed another example beside him of manhood. for real. i guess he had a lot of practice before i was born, cause he's always been manly ever since i knew him.
and i'm not talking about manly like being RIPPED WITH AWESOME MUSCLES AND PECTORALS TO THE MAX or like manly like JUMPING OVER MOTORCYCLES ON A MOTORCYCLE WHILE SHOOTING STUFF or any of that junk (though dad was pretty good at being a buff guy).
i always think of him as like.. knowing how to do the important manly stuff. like never making it a question whether or not he loved my mom. or me. or my sister and brothers. he just acted in a way that the thought of him not loving his family could never even enter my mind. ever.
my earliest memory ever is when i had apparently been to a family's house in my ward for my parent's date night or something to that effect. i don't remember why i was there. i also don't remember falling asleep there, but i must have, cause the memory is of my being at that house, and then being in my crib with my dad asking my whether i wanted milk or orange juice to drink.
when i was a little kid i would usually wake up before everyone else in the house. i would wait in bed until i heard my dad get up, then run into the kitchen. he'd ask me what cereal i wanted and then would get if for me. he probably taught me how to pour cereal. i mean, even if he never actually taught taught me, i learned cause i watched him. silly little thing, right? whatever-- it's kept me from being hungry thousands of times
i remember exactly what i did the night before my parents found out something was wrong. i remember cause that kind of stuff just gets scorched into your memory whether you like it or not. i was in 8th grade and i had my two best friends over for the night. i could have been a long weekend or something, i don't remember. but my dad had us come with him to a hockey game. it was roller hockey and my older brother was playing. after the game my dad took us to get fast food.
and holy crap i'm so grateful he did that. but that's just how it was- it was important to Dad that he could be with his sons, so he takes me to support my brother doing something that he really loves.
here's some pictures.. i don't really have as many as i would like though
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| my dad and his older sister when he was a TOTALLY ADORABLE baby! my aunt just emailed this to us, and i'm happy that she did |
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| my sister (she's the oldest) when she was little and my dad when he was a young studmuffin (as opposed to a middle-aged studmuffin) |
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| i overuse this picture, but i don't really care. it's my best picture with me and my dad, who pretty much looks the same as i've ever known him to |
someday i'll be a man. like a for real man, who cares about other people and helps and loves them like my dad. if i can be just a fraction like him then that's a really dang good life.
