public displays of infection

i have a friend. i know, right? its great. friends are great. to the max. this friend of mine is in my major, which is a very small major, which means i've shared pretty much ALL of my classes with her for the past who knows how long.

anyways, she recently got married, (as  girls in education majors often do) and i went to her reception cause she's pretty radical and her husband is also quite radical so i figured it would be pretty radical to go. while i stood in a corner at the reception (as i often do at receptions) eating a heavily frosted cupcake i couldn't help but notice how happy my just barley married friends were. like they were so dang happy. to the max.

and it wasn't one of those, like obnoxious happys, you know the kind where you see it and you're like "BAH ugh. barf. happy couple. eesh. gross." twas the kind that makes you go 'awww.' or 'totes presh.' its kind of like the feeling you get when you hug an adorable puppy. an adorable puppy like THIS puppy:

i really want to hug that puppy.

every time i see my friend with her man it makes me feel like puppy hugs. unfortunately, i can't say the same about just about every other dang couple at our fine institution. most of them, just quite bluntly, make me want to vomit.

now, before i rant on too crazily about it, there's a few things we just need to get clear here:

1- here at our wonderful, happy, magical BYU, we have a culture that is heavily reliant on dates, dating, and that whole getting married thing. you can't help but see some of that walking to class. and technically it is kind of something we're sort of supposed to be working at, so you can't really blame it for happening.

2- most of us have been or will be guilty of PDA-ing it up at some point. sometimes its obnoxious and sometimes it isn't, but there's probably always going to be someone bitter enough to hate you for it.

3- at BYU we have agreed to standards and (most of us) have made covenants in which we have agreed to live very very differently than the typical college student. yes, i think we can all agree that it's annoying to find a couple people PDA-ing it up at the JFSB fountain, but annoying a few random strangers is probably always better than macking on the couch in front of your roommates.

regardless, i have accepted that PDA is just going to happen. but i have often wondered what makes the difference between the people who make me feel like hugging puppies and the people who make me feel like there's a crisis in the love zone.

yikes.

anyone who caught the above reference gets 400 bonus points unless you are one of my brothers (cause i know that you know it).


i only have a couple suggestions which are based on my opinions and pretty much nothing else. but i think these attitudes will help us closer to the puppy side of the scale.

first, don't give a crap about the status- this may sound absurd, but i don't think it is. we live a culture that is very focused on dating. we can't get around that. people will always be asking if you're dating someone, when you're getting married, why you aren't dating anyone, if you want to date their friend, why it didn't work out with their friend when you were dating, etc. etc. etc. sometimes, i think we forget that we should be dating each other because we like each other, not so that we can impress everyone else in the world.

earlier this year i went on a few dates with a girl and she knew that i liked her. i even got her to like me for a bit. but it didn't end up working out. she was very, very nice about it, nicer than most. and its OK that it didn't happen, that's why you date; to figure stuff out. but during the whole time that was going on, people kept pestering me. "when are you gonna make it official?" "is she your girlfriend yet?" "why don't you ask her?"

the whole thing didn't even last a month, and i already had people bothering me about it! come on, people. i was spending time with her because i liked her. not so that i could tell you that i have a girlfriend, not so that i could update my facebook status, not so that i could brag at testimony meeting that i'm one step closer to eternal progression. she probably would have respected me a lot less if i pressured her into trying to make things "official" so that everyone could have something to talk about.

i guess the my point is that you should date someone because you like him or her. don't worry about what other people think. don't worry about "making it official" because its been a couple of weeks. don't think you have to know if you're getting married after a couple of dates. (yeah, i've heard these concerns). just spend time with each other cause you like each other. and if you still like each other, then keep spending time together. and then if you like each other, then you can figure out if you don't want to date other people. it doesn't need to be some huge ordeal that you need to announce to the world.

second point- don't feel like you have to do every. little. thing. together over and over day after day, minute after second after second.

don't get me wrong. i think its awesome when people take boring things and make it special because they're with someone they like. every time i go to the store to buy food, i see people together who are dating. it's great that they're spending the time together and doing that boring stuff together. but that's not the kind of people who i'm talking about.

i think we all know who i'm talking about.

its the people who you see, after slightly making out in the cereal aisle, slowly walk hand in hand after to the box of cheerios. each person grabs the box with one hand, lifting it together and lowering it gently into the cart. after its placed, they look lovingly into each others' eyes, not noticing the congestion they're causing in the store. they're not quite off to one side but not completely in the middle, so its just enough to slow down other shoppers without being so annoying that anyone will say anything. they slowly walk together out of the aisle, because pushing a cart while holding hands is extremely difficult, while they continue to block my way to the frosted mini-spooners i so devilishly covet. 

don't worry sweetheart. i'll be back soon. i'll miss you while i'm gone.

anyways you get the point. its good to spend time together, its good to do the mundane stuff, but don't feel like you're a bad boyfriend or girlfriend if you're not ALWAYS together doing EVERYTHING with each other.


anyways, i hope yall had fun indulging me and my little rant. and let's all hope that we display our love in a manner that makes onlookers want to participate in a group hug with puppies, rather than contracting appendicitis.