frowns

Back in 1998, there was something in my 8 turning 9 year old brain that made me really think that I wanted Yoshi's Story on the nintendo 64. Looking back I really don't know why- it may have seemed cool at the time- I mean I was just barely accountable for my actions anyways. Plopping the game back in years later, I just really can't do it. It's basically an easier, lamer version of the Yoshi game that came before it (but now I'm ranting a little too much).

The premise of Yoshi's story is this- Yoshi's Island is all full of happy, happy, Yoshis because of the Super Happy Tree. Yes, that's what I said- a SUPER HAPPY TREE. BUT the Super Happy Tree is stolen by Baby Boswer and all the Yoshis are put in a weird trance except for 6 baby Yoshis who hatch and are happy and can lay eggs somehow even though they're babies.

Oh yes, and cheesy rhymes. Don't forget the cheesy rhymes.

The game plays as your typical sidescroller, except instead of going from left to right, in order to beat a level, you have to eat fruit. I'm not kidding. Once you eat enough fruit, the Yoshis get all happy and then you watch an explosion of hearts and sugary Yoshi love and read another cheesy poem as they sing you a song that to this day no one understands, though everyone who's played the game knows what I'm talking about (is it "be careful... the apple... eat air, yo? we won't really ever know).

Anyways, that's the jist of the game- eat fruit, and somehow that explodes happiness everywhere. Cheesier than basically any other Nintendo game made in the 80s or 90s, which is saying something.

Contrast that with my experience a couple of years later. I really wanted to get The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask and for good reason. Zelda has always been an amazing series, and Ocarina of Time seriously knocked everyone into heaven with it's majesty. And though not as loved by most, I really enjoyed Majora's Mask. It's very fun- though one of the darkest and creepiest games Nintendo ever put on the shelf.

The premise of Majora is quite different from your typical Zelda game. In this game, the basic story is that this little imp get got possessed by an evil mask, went crazy, caused problems in EVERYONE's lives, and sits on top of a clock tower laughing at everyone. 

Oh, and he turns you into this:

Oh and by the way, the moon is going to crash into the earth if you don't stop him in three days.

So while you're on your quest to stop the evil moon, you'll meet a lot of characters who have problems- and you can help them. Whether its a nice old lady getting mugged, ghosts who are sad, ranchers who are in trouble or a wedding to save, or people just scared cause a terrifying moon is about to crash land on them, there's a lot of people to help. There's a recurring theme of healing and letting the past go that is actually quite beautiful at times, even though it's in a video game. And those themes come up as you help the characters in the games with their problems, big or small.

The sad thing though is that you have to do it all in three days (each day is about an hour of time in real life) or else the moon crashes and everything is destroyed. You have the ability to go back to the beginning of the three days, so you have more time.. but wen you do, it all resets. That nice old lady you stopped from getting mugged? Yeah, that didn't happen. And she'll get mugged again if you don't stop it again. The ranch whose cows are gonna get stolen by aliens? Yeah, gonna happen if you don't stop it. Again. As if it didn't even matter that you helped in the first place. 

Lately I've been thinking a lot about depression and anxiety and what they do to people. From what I've experienced with on my own or by seeing others who suffer, depression is an extremely misunderstood disability that we are so willing to judge without trying to understand. We're pretty good at being nice to people with physical or intellectual disabilities (I say pretty good, cause that could be a lot better too, but that's another story). Depression though, while as serious (or even moreso) as these other disabilities, we don't really want to discuss it or even admit that it's a problem. 

Depression is a selfish disability, in that it demands your constant time and attention. It works tirelessly to beat the ever-loving crap out of your motivation, your confidence, whatever it is that makes you happy, it seeks to wreck. And we're pretty insensitive to others when they're suffering from it- we say "oh snap out of it" or "it's all in your head," as if it being in their head makes their feelings any less valid or the depression any less of a problem. It's like what Dumbledore said to Harry- (ohmygosh spoiler alert) "Of course this is all in your head- but that doesn't make it any less real." 

Having depression is kind of like being in the middle of Majora's Mask. You can be doing everything you can to help people or be good or whatever it is. Sometimes you feel like you're making progress, and that's kind of cool, and sometimes you just feel like you're not getting anywhere at all. And that no matter what you do, it's not gonna matter cause things will just reset again. Or you might be like one of the characters who feels utterly hopeless, waiting for the moon to crash in a couple of days. 

In addition to this though, you're probably surrounded by people who are in Yoshi's Story. They think their method of eating fruit and getting happy somehow is the one way everyone is supposed to be happy, and they don't get what's wrong with you. You see them and how happy they are, but to you the problem is just as real as a giant scary moon closing in on you. You'll get frustrated cause people either don't want to actually help you by telling you to just eat a melon and get happy- or the people who do care have no idea what to actually do. In short, depression is real, and people suffer from it.

I talk about video games cause they relate to me and a lot of people in my generation. When it comes to depression (or any problem in life), I used to and still often get caught up in the Yoshi approach. I think oh, you should just eat some fruit and then you'll be happy. We often kind of give those primary answers- OH well if you read your scriptures more you'd be more happy, or OH if you worked harder in your calling you'd be more happy, or OH if you prayed better you'd be more happy.

And yes, living the gospel brings us happiness. It does. But it also does not give us a free ride from pain or suffering. You don't have to look hard in the scriptures to find faithful people who suffered due to no fault of their own. When Amulek was rejected by his family, Alma didn't say "oh get over it and be happy," he took Amulek to his house and took care of him. When Ammon's brothers were in prison, he traveled to get them out- he didn't just live the gospel and expect them to be freed. Mormon saved the Nephites several times, yet they never repented or even thanked him. 

These guys weren't just going with the Yoshi approach. They did what they could to care for others. They got to know and love other people. They understood what it means to "mourn with those that mourn, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort." 

When we actually try to love people- listen to them, care for them, and try to feel how God feels about them, it's a lot easier than we'd think to help them. And it doesn't have to be a huge deal. Even things that seem small or kind of weird can mean the world to some people. You can help someone know they're loved when they might not be able to feel like they are. You can be an answer to prayers that they may think will never come. You can make life a little better for someone who may otherwise think they're world could end any day now.

Keeping that great commandment- to love others as ourselves, brings a much more meaningful joy and healing to us than the standard "read your scriptures" or "go to church" ever will on their own. 

And I think it makes God smile too.