No trip home is complete without whipping out the Nintendo 64 and pounding my good friend Sean Morris at Mario Party 2. And by "pounding," I mean letting the stupid luck of the game mercilessly decide which one of us wins as we're pretty much even and the computer just pampers itself with hidden stars anyways... looking at you, Peach. But anyways, we've pretty much capped our skills and are even- he has his games (MECHA MARATHON) and I have mine (TOTEM POLE POUND). But there's one game that pretty much always has us at a standstill (no, I'm not talking about Honeycomb Havoc, Sean) and that is the game of Shy Guy Says. We can pretty much run that game indefinitely if we wanted to.
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| Don't let him fool you. He's actually kind of a jerk. |
This game appears in both Mario Party and Mario Party 2, where this dirtbag of a shy guy raises flags to tell you which button to press, A or B. Depending on which version you play, he either cuts the rope which connects you to a boat and causes to you be lost at sea, or shoots the balloon holding you so that you plummet to your death if you select the wrong button. And the fool tries to trick you! He'll hold up 2 flags, switch flags, do what it takes to mess you up. Don't fall for it. This Shy Guy should really be called Mean Guy.
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| It's a tough life for harmless Mario enemies. |
But not all Shy Guys are mean. Originally, they were pretty much your typical Mario enemy, first appearing in Super Mario 2. They'd just walked around back and forth, not really trying to hurt you and then you'd either pick them up and throw them into each other or peg one with an over-sized, creepy faced turnip.
I mean, some would try to hurt you as the game got harder, but some were just normal guys. Shy guys got more popular thanks to games like Yoshi's Island and Yoshi's Story, where they pretty much did the same thing except now they'd get eat by Yoshi and pooped out as eggs in a matter of seconds, which is a fate I wouldn't want even Bowser to suffer.
Well, we obviously don't live in Super Mario World, but there are actual shy guys in Regular Normal World. And by that I mean shy people. Real actual people who are shy. For whatever reason these people have trouble with social interaction. With talking to people. With getting out of their koopa shells. It's scary, they get anxious, there's just something that stops them that isn't your typical meeting new people jitters.
AAannnd.. we kind of look down on these people in our lovely, happiest of valleys. We judge shyness as laziness, lack of commitment, or even lack of faith. When it's really just a weakness, a struggle. And I really think it's not very hard to help people who are shy be a bit more social. With that being said, here are some things that I think are pretty easy ways to help our shy guy friends.
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Shy Guys are Nice Guys
Shy people really aren't that different from anyone else, their struggle (and we all have them) it just that they're bad at being social. So while they might seem a bit standoffish, they're probably just feeling a bit anxious being in social situations. But they want and need social interaction just like anyone else- and want to develop friendships/relationships the same as anyone. Keep that in mind if you see someone struggling to talking with others or with you- it's likely that he or she just beat their fear into the ground to talk with people and we need to appreciate that. Plus, why not appreciate someone taking an interest? Weird isn't always bad, and neither is shy.
Don't be a Bear.
I've often heard that if you run into a bear in the woods, you're supposed to try to make yourself look bigger than it so it gets scared off... which is ridiculous, cause you'll never be bigger than a freaking bear. Sometimes social situations seem as scary as a bear. No joke. What makes it harder is when we make ourselves less approachable to someone who is looking for friends.
You'll see this a lot at say, ward prayer. People like to get in their friend groups, which is a great thing. But sometimes these groups are difficult to approach, even if you're familiar with people in the group. It's very hard for a shy person to approach a group standing in a circle, with their backs out.* It just kinda says "eh.. we're outta room." You might see someone wandering between groups kind of looking lost. They may be looking for a way into a group to meet some friends. And even though the group looks "closed," it's easy to rope someone in. Break of from the group if you have to for a minute, talk to your shy guy and you can easily bring him/her into the group. Then they don't have to go chasing bears.
Shy Guys Often Have Ninja-Like Stealth
I've often been in this situation- I hear about a party, and I think, heck why not go. So I go. I pump myself up and convince myself that this time, I'm gonna like it. I'm TOTALLY gonna like it. Then I go. Once there, I remember that I totally hate parties- it's loud, there's a lot of people, and it's pretty overwhelming in every way. I'm there and gone, likely before anyone really notices. Or perhaps, I try and stay as long as possible, but just sit in the same place the whole time- not really talking to anyone. I watch what's going on, but wonder if anyone really knows I'm there. I admit, it does feel pretty cool to be so ninja-like and practically unseen.
You've probably seen someone like this at a party before. Should they be trying to talk to people? Yeah, they should. Is it possible that they're very uncomfortable? Yeah, it is. Would it be that hard for you to talk to one of these shy guys? Could be, or maybe it's not. But it only really takes one or two nice people to make a party (or any social situation) worth the while.
In short, being shy is a real struggle that people face. Don't look down of them for it. There's already a lot of social, friendly people who help others make friends and feel welcome. There are also many shy guys who beat their fears every day, and honestly that's pretty dang heroic. I think with just a little extra awareness, we can make life a bit easier for A LOT of good people who are trying their best anyways.
And that's one more friend to invite to your Mario Party ^.^
AAannnd.. we kind of look down on these people in our lovely, happiest of valleys. We judge shyness as laziness, lack of commitment, or even lack of faith. When it's really just a weakness, a struggle. And I really think it's not very hard to help people who are shy be a bit more social. With that being said, here are some things that I think are pretty easy ways to help our shy guy friends.
Shy people really aren't that different from anyone else, their struggle (and we all have them) it just that they're bad at being social. So while they might seem a bit standoffish, they're probably just feeling a bit anxious being in social situations. But they want and need social interaction just like anyone else- and want to develop friendships/relationships the same as anyone. Keep that in mind if you see someone struggling to talking with others or with you- it's likely that he or she just beat their fear into the ground to talk with people and we need to appreciate that. Plus, why not appreciate someone taking an interest? Weird isn't always bad, and neither is shy.
Don't be a Bear.
I've often heard that if you run into a bear in the woods, you're supposed to try to make yourself look bigger than it so it gets scared off... which is ridiculous, cause you'll never be bigger than a freaking bear. Sometimes social situations seem as scary as a bear. No joke. What makes it harder is when we make ourselves less approachable to someone who is looking for friends.
You'll see this a lot at say, ward prayer. People like to get in their friend groups, which is a great thing. But sometimes these groups are difficult to approach, even if you're familiar with people in the group. It's very hard for a shy person to approach a group standing in a circle, with their backs out.* It just kinda says "eh.. we're outta room." You might see someone wandering between groups kind of looking lost. They may be looking for a way into a group to meet some friends. And even though the group looks "closed," it's easy to rope someone in. Break of from the group if you have to for a minute, talk to your shy guy and you can easily bring him/her into the group. Then they don't have to go chasing bears.
Shy Guys Often Have Ninja-Like Stealth
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| No ninjas allowed. |
You've probably seen someone like this at a party before. Should they be trying to talk to people? Yeah, they should. Is it possible that they're very uncomfortable? Yeah, it is. Would it be that hard for you to talk to one of these shy guys? Could be, or maybe it's not. But it only really takes one or two nice people to make a party (or any social situation) worth the while.
In short, being shy is a real struggle that people face. Don't look down of them for it. There's already a lot of social, friendly people who help others make friends and feel welcome. There are also many shy guys who beat their fears every day, and honestly that's pretty dang heroic. I think with just a little extra awareness, we can make life a bit easier for A LOT of good people who are trying their best anyways.
And that's one more friend to invite to your Mario Party ^.^
Scotttt!
ReplyDeleteRight on, man. I relate especially to the party experience you described... I feel horribly awkward unless I'm already in the swing of conversation or if I'm separated from the folks I know already. At least for me, I feel like I'd be imposing to go just say hi to new people that are with THEIR friends, but I know I'm overthinking it. I'll keep an eye out for the shy folks and share the love!
Best, and hope you're doing well.
Chrispy