becoming a menace

as i grow closer to hitting the detested menace to society age, i have noticed that the universe continues to fight back with unsolicited dating advice, pressure, and everyone and their mom trying to set me up with girls who they know (which i'm not complaining about.... yet). with less than a month left to be a good, regular member of society, i've been reflecting on the choices i've made that have been slowly turning me from a good, somewhat productive guy into the kind of scum Batman beats off the streets with his fists.

which is actually kind of hypocritical when you think about it

so to help you guys out, i thought i'd outline my fool-proof, 100% effective steps to becoming a menace to society, so you can easily avoid going down the path of darkness (or follow it for all i care). i guarantee results, cause i mean, if it works for me, it'l work for everyone else, right? so here it goes- here's some of my top reasons why i think i've become a menace to society:

dating for the wrong reasons

it hit me that i've been asking girls out and dating them for all the wrong reasons. dating people to show interest, get to know them, or just spend time with someone you like are surefire ways to fail and start your transformation into the Joker. don't do it.

what i should have been doing is what all the successful missionaries do- and that is get good, high numbers (actually, my first mistake was not comparing dating to missionary work enough). i mean what did all the most successful missionaries have in common? high numbers. tons of lessons taught. lot's of people with baptism dates and tons of baptisms. dating, like missionary work, takes faith, and the best measures of faith are the outward results that everyone else can see. 

so in conclusion: date for the right reasons- which is being able to tell others how many dates you've been on this week, how many progressing relationships you have, and how many people you have a marriage commitment from. it's bound to work itself out from there. 

dating the wrong people

i've also noticed that i've been dating all the wrong people. i've been going after girls who i like, who i am attracted to, who might be interested in me, or who are just so dang nice you have no choice but to like them. obviously, since it hasn't been working, then i must be doing it wrong, and you shouldn't do it either. 

well who is the right kind of people, then? probably freshmen. freshmen girls are always dating someone. so if you aren't dating freshmen girls, you should be, or for the girls out there, simply be a freshman girl.

it's waiting to be robbed. just do it already.

not taking married friends' advice

your friends who are married usually have pretty good advice when it comes to dating, and rightfully so. i mean they are married, after all. forget any past failures they had or how many crappy relationships they had to trudge through, they got it right one time, and that's all you need to be an expert on something. they totally know what they're talking about. 

so of course, i've got it wrong when i haven't been listening to the things that worked for my friends and their spouses, since what worked for them will 100% work for me. stuff like "you gotta be persistent," and "don't go too fast or anything. just be friends," are words to live by. don't go by your own feelings or ideas or anything, cause those gut feelings didn't get your friends married, now did they?

don't be too straightforward

absolutely never tell someone if you like them. this isn't junior high, people! you can't just tell someone you like them or think they're cute and have it not be a big deal! we're adults now! we have to remember that being liked or complimented is a terrifying experience, and honest, straightforward communication is the wrong way to go. know a person at church or in class that you think is cute? better not tell them. have special person you've been friends with for a long time and are crazy about? don't even think about saying your feelings. communicating your feelings should be sketchy, mysterious, and confusing at the very best. 

what i should have been doing is playing more mind games. be really friendly to a person, and then purposely go out of your way to ignore them- and none of that being busy and forgetful stuff, i mean straight up avoidance! or you should only communicate through texting- and be sure that the tone of your messages are near impossible to figure out. if you do slip up and stoop to complimenting, just overdue it, and flirt like crazy with the person. keep flirting and flirting, but then never ask them out- this should balance out for the perfect mind game and then you're in the clear.

mind games. this guy knows. 

well i hope you find my advice useful. if you just avoid the steps i've taken, you'll be well on your way to a non-menacing, productive, happy member of society lifestyle! it's too late for me, but hopefully you can be spared :)

random encounters

one of my favorite genres of video games is the RPG, (role-playing game) which is more or less plot and character-driven game, which a heavy focus on building your characters- as in developing said character's abilities and items and other stuff that makes them cool. most RPGs are set in a fantasy-type world with fantasy-type characters accomplishing a fantasy-type quest. there's variations, but that's the very very basics.

many (if not most) RPGs, especially the older ones, are plagued with an annoying occurrence known as the random encounter. the premise of the random encounter goes as follows: you're walking outside, having a good time, much like this guy here ---->



so you're walking along, having fun when all of the sudden----

the screen flashes, goes dark, and you and your group of friends are standing before a group of monsters who are ready to fight you. your choices are usually pretty simple: you beat the monsters up, burn them with magic (or use it to help your team), use an item, or run away. sometimes fighting the monsters is worth the trouble because they give experience (which makes your characters stronger), and sometimes running away is a good option because they're either not worth the time or they could kill if you if you fought.





while the Final Fantasy series is notorious for its random encounters, most other traditional RPGs have them too. some games like Pokemon will confine random encounters to certain areas, like the tall grass or caves- though anyone who's played Pokemon up to Mt. Moon will know just how annoying a random encounter is when you find another dang wild zubat appearing in front of you face for the 100th time... make that the 101th time. other RPGs will-- gosh, is that ANOTHER freaking zubat!?-- try to justify random encounters by making little-- oh GOSH another zubat-- enemies for you to walk up to on the map screen before going to the fight screen to-- come ON! i used a super repel for crying out loud!-- beat the bad guys up, and then-- HOLY CRAP, I GET IT, THIS CAVE IS FULL OF ZUBATS!!!

there is a monster who i would like to talk about who is a beast that we must all fight many times throughout life. the beast is called anxiety. we've all fought it. we've all probably tried to run away, wish that we could destroy it with magic, or use an item to get it off. but we've all dealt with it in some way at some point.

we all have reasons to be anxious. school, work, church, friends, family, pretty much anything we care about will probably give us some anxiety at some point. stress is pretty normal, and a lot of the time it can be pretty good, as it pushes us to do what we care about.

but i'm going to talk about the more annoying, more trollish, zubat-like anxiety that comes up for no reason. the kind that is basically like a random encounter with a bunch of stupid monsters-- you're moving along with life, things are good, and then boom. you're fighting a pack of trolls that were literally not there a second ago.

this kind of anxiety can manifest itself however and whenever the heck it wants, and it will probably do it in the most annoying way possible. it can be physical, it can be emotional, it can be both of those. some people feel intense panic or embarrassment, even when things are going well and nothing's wrong. you might feel your fears increase and go nuts in your head.

 for me, it feels like someone is clenching my stomach with their fist and won't let it go. when it decides to show up, it usually hangs around for the rest of the day. or week. or month. on a better day, it's just a stomach ache. on a bad day, the stomach convinces my mind to turn against me and try to obsess about reasons why i'm feeling like crap. fears may get intense. positive emotions can get very very suppressed. it can go on and off for long amounts of time, and i'm sure many others have dealt with the same crap

i've named my anxiety my troll stomach, because that's really all that it is. a troll. a more or less useless feeling that only tries to annoy. i could be driving to work, and it's all like--

HEY. CHECK IT OUT I WANT YOU TO HAVE A BAD DAY, BRO! LETSHAVE A BAD DAY! :3







or i could be on an enjoyable date with a woman i might actually like, and my "friend" comes in all like---

HEY. WHUUTZZZ UP? SHE'S NICE. TOO NICE FOR YOU LOLOLOL!!! BUT SERIOUSLY, YOU SHULD BE PAYING ATTENTION TO ME NOW. CAN I COME NEXT TIME YOU TALK TO HER? BY THE WAY I'M NOT LEAVING XD





or i could be trying to have a good experience in the temple, when... you guessed it---

HEY. WHAT'S THIS PLACE? YOU SHOULD LEAVE AND HANG OUT WITH ME. CAUSE REALLY, YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BE HERE. LOLZ ;) BUTSERIOUSLY, IF YOU STAY I'LL MAKE IT A PAIN FOR YOU






while i'm in no way an expert or professional on the subject, i hope that i can say a few things that might help you or someone you love fight the troll that is anxiety.


first off, anxiety is not a sin. is you have random, stupid, trolling anxiety, you are not bad, you are not evil, and you are not weak. the difficulty is that we often associate feelings or anxiety with guilt, often because when we do mess up and feel bad or guilt, it can cause stress. when we make things right, this stress usually goes away. for the most part, when you do something wrong, you know it. you don't need a terrible feeling to tell you.

if you need to get help, that's ok. there's nothing wrong with it. people might judge, but they don't know anything anyways. it's good to get help from people you trust- friends, family, professionals, anyone who wants to help. there's nothing weak about asking for help- the whole core of what we believe and why we are here is the Savior-- that we need Him to get through this and get back to God. we need Him to help us, and there is no shame in asking him. similarly, there's no shame in asking for help with the problems you fight in life.

next, try to learn the difference between your feelings. this can be very hard, as anxiety might suppress everything else you feel. but that doesn't mean you still don't have emotions, cares, worries, and feelings that are genuine and real. when you do something that you know is wrong, pay attention to what leads you back in the right way-- and it's not going to be the anxiety. when you do something enjoyable or just plain nice, pay attention to what things override the troll. with some practice, you can find what things help lower anxiety, what makes you actually feel good, and the difference between the anxiety and other less than fun emotions like sadness or anger.

if nothing else, know that God has your back no matter what. He really does love you and really does care about you. He's shown me that over and over the last few months, despite my troll-stomach being stronger than usual. learn how He talks to you. the way He speaks with you is for you and no one else. be brave and follow what He might ask you to do. if you feel the urge to do something good, something nice for another person, show faith in any way, follow it- and it will often lead to feeling the Spirit, feeling good, and kicking out the troll- even if only for a short time. when you see or feel a blessing from Him, remember it during the hard times when satan tries to sucker-punch your feelings with the troll.





for all my friends who have suffered from or helped me or others in the fight with anxiety-- you are awesome and incredible people. you are like the warriors in my stupid RPGs that crush monsters and save the world. your faith and love are much stronger than you probably give yourself credit for, and i am confident that God is happy with you when you act this way. keep it up. it makes a real difference. :)

have a nice day

in addition to adventure, fighting evil monsters, and saving the world from darkness, most fantasy video games also have an element involving visiting boring little towns where boring little people live. towns are more or less a necessity, as you need them to stay at the inn (which miraculously heals any and all wounds), buy new weapons or other items, or just get information useful for your quest. these towns always have quaint little people who you can talk to by going up to them and pressing A. usually they only have one like to say unless they give you a side-quest. otherwise, it's the same boring sentence every time you walk up to someone to talk to them.

as hilarious as these interactions can be, they are often much less pathetic than some of the everyday interactions i have with people whom i know. how often do you find yourself walking on campus, at the store, or elsewhere and see someone you know walking towards you? you avoid making eye contact till you're about a good appropriate 10 feet from him/her. as you walk by, one person starts the riveting conversation by saying, "oh hey, how are you?" to which the other responds, "good, how are you?" you then walk by each other before the second person can actually answer. wait, what? seriously, at least in the video game you stop moving to talk to a person (despite main characters never actually saying anything).

now, how honest are we being when we say "good," when walking by? how often is the real answer to "how are you," something more like, "oh, i'm stressed, anxious, and kind of hate everything right now.." but do we really want to say that? and do would we really care if someone opened up to us like that?

take another example from a more obscure super nintendo game- Faceball 2000. the premise of the game is pretty simple, you choose a giant floating shape with a weird face on it, and run around in a maze shooting other weird giant floating shapes. basically like paintball, but with faces. and the shapes kind of pop when you hit them. 

anyways, when you get destroyed by another face-guy, their face pops up on your screen, and you hear them tell you in a snarky, sarcastic voice to "have a nice day."

have. a nice. day.

i think often our interactions with people are sometimes kind of lame. like these weirdos from my nintendo games. do we walk on by or do we actually stop to talk to people and see how they're doing? are we the kind of friend that people can open up to, or do we just halfheartedly listen, give our judgments and yet tell them to "have a nice day" after not really listening or helping at all?

James teaches it better--

"If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, by ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them no those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit? Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone" (James 2:15-17).

let's try to be nicer to each other, let's try to be better friends, better brothers and sisters, better followers of Christ. we won't have all the answers for every problem or be able to fix every burden, but life becomes that much easier for all of us when we love and care for each other and actually mean it. 

and then it's not so weird to see a smiling face tell you to have a nice day.

red potion

i pretty much just laughed when i realized that valentine's day is actually this coming friday. i laugh cause it's probably the most emotionally weird and just plain funny day to go through and see others' reactions (and my own for that matter). i'm sure that facebook is going to be drooling with the typical "OMIGOSH I JUST LUUUUUHHHVE MY GFBFHUBBYETERNALWIFEYLOVER<3<3" on the one end and the "yet another single's awareness day in front of netflix and ice cream #singleprobs #ishouldjustgetmarried feeling lonely :(" on the other end, and everything in between. if nothing else, my students will make the day interesting.. to say the least.

another great thing about this friday is that it will mark the last valentine's day before i hit the "official" menace to society age in just a few months. i'm actually looking forward to becoming a menace, because i'm actually more or less at a point where i'm contributing more to society than i ever have in my life...

..and that's what you call ironic!!!

to be blunt, the dating pressure in the Church and especially in provo/BYU is pretty intense. the religious reasons for it are actually pretty sound- we believe that marriage is a covenant with God, and that's nothing to take lightly. but we've added a TON of social pressure to it (and sadly our other covenants as well) that make it so much more frustrating that it needs to be. we've all been in a church meeting where we've gotten yelled at for not dating enough. we've probably judged each other when we see relationships fall apart or things not go well for ourselves/others. it's hard enough on it's own- let's not make it any harder.


i'm not gonna pretend that i have any answers to the "menace" issue. everyone is far too different to give solid dating advice to. no one really knows what they're talking about- which is OK, cause most people end up together somehow anyways!

so if i could say anything to my frustrated friends this valentines day- be you menace, pre-menace, or a lonely lady (cause you know, it's solely the men's faults we all suck at dating), its that you are awesome. very much more than you give yourself credit for. why? cause despite the frustration, the pain, the yelling, judging, the being told you aren't good enough, the feeling like crap, and everything in between, you keep going. you stay faithful. we don't value that enough.

i remember once i was driving to general conference with a friend, while listening to it on the radio. in part of Elder Anderson's talk he said something like-- "I am amazed to see so many single people going into their late 20's and 30's..." we both groaned as we waited for his apostolic rebuke, then he said-- "... who still keep the law of chastity!" we then collectively cheered. we really don't give enough credit to those who keep trying, keep moving forward, and don't let the past (no matter how crazy) get them down.

try to be happy this valentines day. whether you've got someone or not, with or without plans. try not to dwell in the past if it hurts. try not to demonize people who may have let you down. if you can, try to be brave. do something nice for someone you care about. say something nice to someone you might like. but most importantly, just don't beat yourself up. you're too awesome for that.














worst case scenario, i'll just become a full-on hermit and give bad advice to people in caves and dungeons. come visit and maybe i'll give you a sword or a note or something XD

pay me for the door repair charge.

type 1: grass type 2: poison

a very good number of us in our generation had a very important decision to make, somewhere around the ages of 8-10. no one could make this choice for us. parents and teachers had no clue, friends and older siblings may have tried to persuade, but in the end, the choice was our own, and none else. and that choice, of course, happened in a small-town laboratory with a senile old professor who can't remember his grandson's name. the choice: which starter pokemon to take with you into the tall, uncharted grass

gotta make my mind up..... which one should i take?

today, there are now over 700 pokemon with 18 different types. that's a lot to choose from, being that you only get 6 in your party. choosing a variety of types is important to- as different types are strong or weak against each other. fire-types like charmander decimate grass, bug, steel, or ice-types, but will be destroyed by any ground, rock, or water-type. some pokemon, like bulbasuar, have two types. so really, there's quite a lot of possibilities when making your pokemon team. in addition, each pokemon can learn up to 4 different moves to fight with. these moves may be different types than their own, to make things even more exciting. for example, the water/psychic types, slowbro, can learn flamethrower a fire-type move. isn't that just fancy?


people, like pokemon, come in many varieties, personalities, and have many, many skills (definitely more than four). for some reason we have a persistent need to label each other like pokemon- i don't really know why. often, when i explain that i teach special ed, i'm asked something like "well what kind of problems do your students have?" my typical answer is "well i can't really tell you" (by law i have to keep specifics confidential), but i can usually tell them something general-- students in my class tend to have intellectual disabilities. the response is often "yeah, but what kind of problems do they have?" in most cases they want to know specific disabilities people have, such as down syndrome, autism, and basically those are probably the only ones you've ever heard of.

it's a little sad that pretty much everyone (including special ed teachers) think of someone's disability before anything else about them. while it's good to have an interest in someone and, something that really is a big part of them.. there's so much more to people than an extra chromosome or a problem in their spine. but really this applies to much more than people who have disabilities.


we really like to label people. a lot. give them types. that guy is autistic-type, or that girl is weird-type. that guys is smart-type, or that dude is stupid-type. he's gay-type, she's crazy-type, they're cool-type, they're lame-type. that guy is less active-type so i don't want to be his friend. that girl is annoying-type so i'm not gonna talk to her. heaven forbid you ever meet a normal-type person.




surprisingly, people aren't pokemon, and the labels we give each other don't tend to be anything cool like fire or psychic-type. it's the natural, easy thing to do, but i don't think it really does us much good. how about we not take just one thing about a person, and stick it to them like it's all they are? God sees us as his children- his sons and daughters, who we really are and much much more, and not just as the one or two talents/faults we have.


so.. instead of trying to label someone like a pokemon in your collection, let's try to actually get to know people and love them for who they are. they're always a lot cooler than you'd initially think : )

Shy Guy Says

No trip home is complete without whipping out the Nintendo 64 and pounding my good friend Sean Morris at Mario Party 2. And by "pounding," I mean letting the stupid luck of the game mercilessly decide which one of us wins as we're pretty much even and the computer just pampers itself with hidden stars anyways... looking at you, Peach. But anyways, we've pretty much capped our skills and are even- he has his games (MECHA MARATHON) and I have mine (TOTEM POLE POUND). But there's one game that pretty much always has us at a standstill (no, I'm not talking about Honeycomb Havoc, Sean) and that is the game of Shy Guy Says. We can pretty much run that game indefinitely if we wanted to. 

Don't let him fool you. He's actually kind of a jerk.

This game appears in both Mario Party and Mario Party 2, where this dirtbag of a shy guy raises flags to tell you which button to press, A or B. Depending on which version you play, he either cuts the rope which connects you to a boat and causes to you be lost at sea, or shoots the balloon holding you so that you plummet to your death if you select the wrong button. And the fool tries to trick you! He'll hold up 2 flags, switch flags, do what it takes to mess you up. Don't fall for it. This Shy Guy should really be called Mean Guy.

It's a tough life for harmless Mario enemies.

But not all Shy Guys are mean. Originally, they were pretty much your typical Mario enemy, first appearing in Super Mario 2. They'd just walked around back and forth, not really trying to hurt you and then you'd either pick them up and throw them into each other or peg one with an over-sized, creepy faced turnip.

I mean, some would try to hurt you as the game got harder, but some were just normal guys. Shy guys got more popular thanks to games like Yoshi's Island and Yoshi's Story, where they pretty much did the same thing except now they'd get eat by Yoshi and pooped out as eggs in a matter of seconds, which is a fate I wouldn't want even Bowser to suffer.

Well, we obviously don't live in Super Mario World, but there are actual shy guys in Regular Normal World. And by that I mean shy people. Real actual people who are shy. For whatever reason these people have trouble with social interaction. With talking to people. With getting out of their koopa shells. It's scary, they get anxious, there's just something that stops them that isn't your typical meeting new people jitters.

AAannnd.. we kind of look down on these people in our lovely, happiest of valleys. We judge shyness as laziness, lack of commitment, or even lack of faith. When it's really just a weakness, a struggle. And I really think it's not very hard to help people who are shy be a bit more social. With that being said, here are some things that I think are pretty easy ways to help our shy guy friends.

Shy Guys are Nice Guys

Shy people really aren't that different from anyone else, their struggle (and we all have them) it just that they're bad at being social. So while they might seem a bit standoffish, they're probably just feeling a bit anxious being in social situations. But they want and need social interaction just like anyone else- and want to develop friendships/relationships the same as anyone. Keep that in mind if you see someone struggling to talking with others or with you- it's likely that he or she just beat their fear into the ground to talk with people and we need to appreciate that. Plus, why not appreciate someone taking an interest? Weird isn't always bad, and neither is shy.

Don't be a Bear.

I've often heard that if you run into a bear in the woods, you're supposed to try to make yourself look bigger than it so it gets scared off... which is ridiculous, cause you'll never be bigger than a freaking bear. Sometimes social situations seem as scary as a bear. No joke. What makes it harder is when we make ourselves less approachable to someone who is looking for friends.

You'll see this a lot at say, ward prayer. People like to get in their friend groups, which is a great thing. But sometimes these groups are difficult to approach, even if you're familiar with people in the group. It's very hard for a shy person to approach a group standing in a circle, with their backs out.* It just kinda says "eh.. we're outta room." You might see someone wandering between groups kind of looking lost. They may be looking for a way into a group to meet some friends. And even though the group looks "closed," it's easy to rope someone in. Break of from the group if you have to for a minute, talk to your shy guy and you can easily bring him/her into the group. Then they don't have to go chasing bears.


Shy Guys Often Have Ninja-Like Stealth

No ninjas allowed.

I've often been in this situation- I hear about a party, and I think, heck why not go. So I go. I pump myself up and convince myself that this time, I'm gonna like it. I'm TOTALLY gonna like it. Then I go. Once there, I remember that I totally hate parties- it's loud, there's a lot of people, and it's pretty overwhelming in every way. I'm there and gone, likely before anyone really notices. Or perhaps, I try and stay as long as possible, but just sit in the same place the whole time- not really talking to anyone. I watch what's going on, but wonder if anyone really knows I'm there. I admit, it does feel pretty cool to be so ninja-like and practically unseen.

You've probably seen someone like this at a party before. Should they be trying to talk to people? Yeah, they should. Is it possible that they're very uncomfortable? Yeah, it is. Would it be that hard for you to talk to one of these shy guys? Could be, or maybe it's not. But it only really takes one or two nice people to make a party (or any social situation) worth the while.










In short, being shy is a real struggle that people face. Don't look down of them for it. There's already a lot of social, friendly people who help others make friends and feel welcome. There are also many shy guys who beat their fears every day, and honestly that's pretty dang heroic. I think with just a little extra awareness, we can make life a bit easier for A LOT of good people who are trying their best anyways.

And that's one more friend to invite to your Mario Party ^.^

frowns

Back in 1998, there was something in my 8 turning 9 year old brain that made me really think that I wanted Yoshi's Story on the nintendo 64. Looking back I really don't know why- it may have seemed cool at the time- I mean I was just barely accountable for my actions anyways. Plopping the game back in years later, I just really can't do it. It's basically an easier, lamer version of the Yoshi game that came before it (but now I'm ranting a little too much).

The premise of Yoshi's story is this- Yoshi's Island is all full of happy, happy, Yoshis because of the Super Happy Tree. Yes, that's what I said- a SUPER HAPPY TREE. BUT the Super Happy Tree is stolen by Baby Boswer and all the Yoshis are put in a weird trance except for 6 baby Yoshis who hatch and are happy and can lay eggs somehow even though they're babies.

Oh yes, and cheesy rhymes. Don't forget the cheesy rhymes.

The game plays as your typical sidescroller, except instead of going from left to right, in order to beat a level, you have to eat fruit. I'm not kidding. Once you eat enough fruit, the Yoshis get all happy and then you watch an explosion of hearts and sugary Yoshi love and read another cheesy poem as they sing you a song that to this day no one understands, though everyone who's played the game knows what I'm talking about (is it "be careful... the apple... eat air, yo? we won't really ever know).

Anyways, that's the jist of the game- eat fruit, and somehow that explodes happiness everywhere. Cheesier than basically any other Nintendo game made in the 80s or 90s, which is saying something.

Contrast that with my experience a couple of years later. I really wanted to get The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask and for good reason. Zelda has always been an amazing series, and Ocarina of Time seriously knocked everyone into heaven with it's majesty. And though not as loved by most, I really enjoyed Majora's Mask. It's very fun- though one of the darkest and creepiest games Nintendo ever put on the shelf.

The premise of Majora is quite different from your typical Zelda game. In this game, the basic story is that this little imp get got possessed by an evil mask, went crazy, caused problems in EVERYONE's lives, and sits on top of a clock tower laughing at everyone. 

Oh, and he turns you into this:

Oh and by the way, the moon is going to crash into the earth if you don't stop him in three days.

So while you're on your quest to stop the evil moon, you'll meet a lot of characters who have problems- and you can help them. Whether its a nice old lady getting mugged, ghosts who are sad, ranchers who are in trouble or a wedding to save, or people just scared cause a terrifying moon is about to crash land on them, there's a lot of people to help. There's a recurring theme of healing and letting the past go that is actually quite beautiful at times, even though it's in a video game. And those themes come up as you help the characters in the games with their problems, big or small.

The sad thing though is that you have to do it all in three days (each day is about an hour of time in real life) or else the moon crashes and everything is destroyed. You have the ability to go back to the beginning of the three days, so you have more time.. but wen you do, it all resets. That nice old lady you stopped from getting mugged? Yeah, that didn't happen. And she'll get mugged again if you don't stop it again. The ranch whose cows are gonna get stolen by aliens? Yeah, gonna happen if you don't stop it. Again. As if it didn't even matter that you helped in the first place. 

Lately I've been thinking a lot about depression and anxiety and what they do to people. From what I've experienced with on my own or by seeing others who suffer, depression is an extremely misunderstood disability that we are so willing to judge without trying to understand. We're pretty good at being nice to people with physical or intellectual disabilities (I say pretty good, cause that could be a lot better too, but that's another story). Depression though, while as serious (or even moreso) as these other disabilities, we don't really want to discuss it or even admit that it's a problem. 

Depression is a selfish disability, in that it demands your constant time and attention. It works tirelessly to beat the ever-loving crap out of your motivation, your confidence, whatever it is that makes you happy, it seeks to wreck. And we're pretty insensitive to others when they're suffering from it- we say "oh snap out of it" or "it's all in your head," as if it being in their head makes their feelings any less valid or the depression any less of a problem. It's like what Dumbledore said to Harry- (ohmygosh spoiler alert) "Of course this is all in your head- but that doesn't make it any less real." 

Having depression is kind of like being in the middle of Majora's Mask. You can be doing everything you can to help people or be good or whatever it is. Sometimes you feel like you're making progress, and that's kind of cool, and sometimes you just feel like you're not getting anywhere at all. And that no matter what you do, it's not gonna matter cause things will just reset again. Or you might be like one of the characters who feels utterly hopeless, waiting for the moon to crash in a couple of days. 

In addition to this though, you're probably surrounded by people who are in Yoshi's Story. They think their method of eating fruit and getting happy somehow is the one way everyone is supposed to be happy, and they don't get what's wrong with you. You see them and how happy they are, but to you the problem is just as real as a giant scary moon closing in on you. You'll get frustrated cause people either don't want to actually help you by telling you to just eat a melon and get happy- or the people who do care have no idea what to actually do. In short, depression is real, and people suffer from it.

I talk about video games cause they relate to me and a lot of people in my generation. When it comes to depression (or any problem in life), I used to and still often get caught up in the Yoshi approach. I think oh, you should just eat some fruit and then you'll be happy. We often kind of give those primary answers- OH well if you read your scriptures more you'd be more happy, or OH if you worked harder in your calling you'd be more happy, or OH if you prayed better you'd be more happy.

And yes, living the gospel brings us happiness. It does. But it also does not give us a free ride from pain or suffering. You don't have to look hard in the scriptures to find faithful people who suffered due to no fault of their own. When Amulek was rejected by his family, Alma didn't say "oh get over it and be happy," he took Amulek to his house and took care of him. When Ammon's brothers were in prison, he traveled to get them out- he didn't just live the gospel and expect them to be freed. Mormon saved the Nephites several times, yet they never repented or even thanked him. 

These guys weren't just going with the Yoshi approach. They did what they could to care for others. They got to know and love other people. They understood what it means to "mourn with those that mourn, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort." 

When we actually try to love people- listen to them, care for them, and try to feel how God feels about them, it's a lot easier than we'd think to help them. And it doesn't have to be a huge deal. Even things that seem small or kind of weird can mean the world to some people. You can help someone know they're loved when they might not be able to feel like they are. You can be an answer to prayers that they may think will never come. You can make life a little better for someone who may otherwise think they're world could end any day now.

Keeping that great commandment- to love others as ourselves, brings a much more meaningful joy and healing to us than the standard "read your scriptures" or "go to church" ever will on their own. 

And I think it makes God smile too.