Friday, July 29, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
ever get the feeling..
you ever get that feeling, like when you're playing Metroid? you know, that moment you walk into a room and the music gets all quiet and eerie, and just know that something bad is about to go down. its like at any moment Kraid can pop outta nowhere or the SA-X will come in to thrash you.
or what about that feeling you get when you're playing Battletoads? (ok... so there's probably only like three of you who know what i'm talking about). i'm talking about after you play the jetbike level 50 times. after you get through the ridiculous surfing or the snake pit. it comes right around the time you get flatted by a random gigantic gear rolling around through the water pipes. or when the clinger-winger beats you around a corner and runs you over for the 20th time. then the dark queen laughs at your face and Professor T. Bird mocks your incompetence, and you're like... really?
your out of lives. your continues are gone. and what do you do? start over!? play through it again from the beginning!?
are you insane? maybe. are you trying to prove that you're awesome? beating the jet bikes already proved that. you know the game is pretty much impossible. but you keep fighting on. you know your chances of beating it without cheating are so low that even C3-PO couldn't calculate the odds. yet you give another fighting rat the big bad boot.
what is it that keeps us going, even though we might feel like an alien will pop out to kill us an any moment? how do we keep ourselves fighting, no matter how many times we crash into those random pink walls or fall into the pit of mysterious yellow orbs?
i dunno. i don't really know what it is that keeps us going again and again. but it's something we need to hold onto.
recently i have been trying to get better at being brave. at standing up for myself. at not letting people walk all over me. i wouldn't say its the greatest of my traits, but i have been improving. it takes some stretching, it takes some discomfort.
but that's how it is. being brave aint being fearless. its about standing up and fighting on even when you're scared out of your mind. its what this kid does from Legend of Zelda
well all know that Link is pretty much fearless. he's got the Triforce of Courage, he knows how to use a sword like a pro, there really aint nothing stopping him from saving the world. and then we got this kid, (his name is Collin) who is probably scared out of his freaking head, watching these monsters come in to take over, and he steps it up. like a man. he won't ever use a sword, he can't ever conquer a dungeon, and he isn't ever gonna face it off with Ganondorf. but what he did was no less brave than all the heroic stuff Link does.
we can be brave no matter what life throws at us. even if we can't beat the game, even if we can't pass the second level. we don't always have to win to face it like a champ.
and if we do win, the fight becomes that much more worth the effort. if we don't then we will be that much more ready to be brave when our time to win does come.
 | ||
| Even the NES knows how to creep you out |
or what about that feeling you get when you're playing Battletoads? (ok... so there's probably only like three of you who know what i'm talking about). i'm talking about after you play the jetbike level 50 times. after you get through the ridiculous surfing or the snake pit. it comes right around the time you get flatted by a random gigantic gear rolling around through the water pipes. or when the clinger-winger beats you around a corner and runs you over for the 20th time. then the dark queen laughs at your face and Professor T. Bird mocks your incompetence, and you're like... really?
your out of lives. your continues are gone. and what do you do? start over!? play through it again from the beginning!?
are you insane? maybe. are you trying to prove that you're awesome? beating the jet bikes already proved that. you know the game is pretty much impossible. but you keep fighting on. you know your chances of beating it without cheating are so low that even C3-PO couldn't calculate the odds. yet you give another fighting rat the big bad boot.
 | ||||
| i have beat this level many times. but i have never beat this game. |
what is it that keeps us going, even though we might feel like an alien will pop out to kill us an any moment? how do we keep ourselves fighting, no matter how many times we crash into those random pink walls or fall into the pit of mysterious yellow orbs?
i dunno. i don't really know what it is that keeps us going again and again. but it's something we need to hold onto.
recently i have been trying to get better at being brave. at standing up for myself. at not letting people walk all over me. i wouldn't say its the greatest of my traits, but i have been improving. it takes some stretching, it takes some discomfort.
but that's how it is. being brave aint being fearless. its about standing up and fighting on even when you're scared out of your mind. its what this kid does from Legend of Zelda
well all know that Link is pretty much fearless. he's got the Triforce of Courage, he knows how to use a sword like a pro, there really aint nothing stopping him from saving the world. and then we got this kid, (his name is Collin) who is probably scared out of his freaking head, watching these monsters come in to take over, and he steps it up. like a man. he won't ever use a sword, he can't ever conquer a dungeon, and he isn't ever gonna face it off with Ganondorf. but what he did was no less brave than all the heroic stuff Link does.
we can be brave no matter what life throws at us. even if we can't beat the game, even if we can't pass the second level. we don't always have to win to face it like a champ.
and if we do win, the fight becomes that much more worth the effort. if we don't then we will be that much more ready to be brave when our time to win does come.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
we had no idea
when i was a little kid, i voluntarily allowed my older sister to interview me about how much i hated girls and how they were gross. at one point she had asked if i was ever going to get married, and, having always had been a baby enthusiast, i told her that i would only get married so that i could have kids. at the time i didn't completely know all the implications of what i had just said. looking back.. i find it hilarious.
it is an uncle's duty to impede his nephew's/niece's learning by joking around with them and teaching them false or otherwise silly/useless things. my older brother taught our nephew to say "drop a duke." i taught him the nerdy internet version of the word "own," also known as "pwn." my nephew would often talk about dropping dukes, and one day, at the end of one of his little kid monologues, he ended by saying, "and then, we pwned ourselves!"
he had no idea what he was saying. and it was hilarious.
at the beginning of the semester, a bunch of my roommate's crap was put in the trunk of my car. for some reason it got everything stuck and the trunk could not open. one day i was talking with my dear mother, and she had asked about how the car was running, and i told her about how it was good except for that the trunk didn't open. she didn't know the situation, and so after explaining it to her, she said, "well you should probably get that taken care of. you don't want all that junk in your trunk."
she had no idea what she was saying. and it was hilarious.
it is an uncle's duty to impede his nephew's/niece's learning by joking around with them and teaching them false or otherwise silly/useless things. my older brother taught our nephew to say "drop a duke." i taught him the nerdy internet version of the word "own," also known as "pwn." my nephew would often talk about dropping dukes, and one day, at the end of one of his little kid monologues, he ended by saying, "and then, we pwned ourselves!"
he had no idea what he was saying. and it was hilarious.
at the beginning of the semester, a bunch of my roommate's crap was put in the trunk of my car. for some reason it got everything stuck and the trunk could not open. one day i was talking with my dear mother, and she had asked about how the car was running, and i told her about how it was good except for that the trunk didn't open. she didn't know the situation, and so after explaining it to her, she said, "well you should probably get that taken care of. you don't want all that junk in your trunk."
she had no idea what she was saying. and it was hilarious.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
the greatest wizards of our time
let me just first of say, that i really do like harry potter and am very excited for the next movie to come out. i probably couldn't see it on opening night cause of a lack of tickets, but either way i plan to watch it when i go home for the summer cause my brother and i have consistently watched like.. all of them in marathons when a new one comes out. can't crap out when the series is finished, right? though, while the marathon is fun, i will warn all yall that you will go through withdrawals after watching that much harry... i'm not even joking there.
so yes i am a harry fan. great books, great movies. just remember that when i proceed to tear apart certain aspects of it later in this post.
so anyways, i've seen a lot of movies and played a lot of video games that have to do with wizards. i've noticed a lot of similarities and i've noticed some really silly things about many of them. first off, we'll look at some common trends.
first off, there's always the good guys. in movies, its likely that the wizards are in training or something, in video games, a wizard typically means its a scrawny lil whimp who can't do much damage and has terrible HP and defense. but his MP (or mana if you will) is through the roof and he can probably nuke all the enemies on the screen no problemo.
k, next is the old guys. seriously. every movie about wizards and just about every fantasy movie or video game just has to have the old guy who also happens to be a wizard, who also know pretty much everything about everything but is really really vague about the fact that he knows everything about everything and then may or may not die for some amount of the time but has to also come back in some form or fasion so that all the fanboys don't get mad. yeah.
then you got the bad guys. typically, they're power hungry snots who exploit the fact that they're awesome wizards while they go tearing through the world (or just hiding in their castle) and looking for the source of ultimate power which will let them rule the world, which they pretty much achieve but since the bad guys have to lose, there's always some loophole with the ultimate power thing that can allow Link or Harry to take em down. yeah... its a good thing Voldemort never got the Triforce, cause dang... we'd be in big trouble.
anyways, now that i've outlined some of the basics of wizardry... i'm gonna start making fun of it. the first target will be Harry and his universe. sorry, yall.
the thing that really bothers me about the harry potter world is just the way that everyone has to do magic. maybe its cause i grew up watching magic users cast flare or luminare for the mere cost of 20 MP and destroying all the enemies on the screen effortlessly, but i just have trouble taking it seriously when in order to cast a dang spell you gotta flick your wrist correctly and say the proper incantation. sure, it was nice and fun and cute in the first couple of books/movies, which were clearly more intended for children then the later ones. i think the what really did it for me was when like the series started getting really dark, and like they're doing the evil ritual with harry's blood and wormtail's cut off hand and tom riddle's dad's bones in order to bring voldemort back to life, (which, by the way was the point in the series that my 88 year old grandma just happened to walk into during my brother/my marathon) and so you have go the most evil, powerful wizard brought back to life and he's ready to tear the world apart and like the first thing he says in his terrifying, commanding all-powerful, all evil voice is, "where is my wand?"
sorry, voldy. no matter how bad A you look, no matter how terrifying your return is, no matter how many acting classes you took and times you ran over that phrase, i just can't take you seriously anymore after that line.
and i still think a well-placed sniper could do the job against voldemort. just saying..
well, at least voldemort got one thing right. when he decided to take over the world, he pretty much took it over. he gained so much momentum by the last book it was ridiculous. that tends to be a common failure of the bad guy. like, oh Ganondorf for example.
i love the Legend of Zelda. I love just about everything about it. i still think that Ganon is one of the greatest villains ever. but really, dude? you got the triforce of power. you're a superpowerful wizard. you're capable of tearing Hyrule apart at your pleasure. what do you do with all that power?
oh. you sit in your castle waiting for link to slowly get all the items and heart containers and blue potions so that he can come in and kick your trash after saving the maidens or sages or whoever's gonna help him get into your dang tower. oops.. well, at least the organ lessons paid off..
and yeah, relocating everyone in the castle town to kakariko village isn't really gonna land you in the world-class evildoer club.
yet i still practically pooped myself when i played the game last and opened up the door of time and HE WAS RIGHT. FREAKING. BEHIND ME!! AAHHH!
i could also make fun of the fact that gandalf pretty much didn't do anything with his wizardy powers except for make his staff all shiny only to get it broken 2 seconds later... but Lord of the Rinds fanboys are the scariest and so i won't say anything more..
anyways that's all i have to say about wizardry for now. if i was a wizard, i definitely wouldn't be wand-dependent, and if i was an evil all-powerful wizard i doubt i'd just wait around in my castle while the good guys are out leveling up enough to kill me.
then again, its not like fiction was always supposed to make that much sense anyways...
so yes i am a harry fan. great books, great movies. just remember that when i proceed to tear apart certain aspects of it later in this post.
so anyways, i've seen a lot of movies and played a lot of video games that have to do with wizards. i've noticed a lot of similarities and i've noticed some really silly things about many of them. first off, we'll look at some common trends.
first off, there's always the good guys. in movies, its likely that the wizards are in training or something, in video games, a wizard typically means its a scrawny lil whimp who can't do much damage and has terrible HP and defense. but his MP (or mana if you will) is through the roof and he can probably nuke all the enemies on the screen no problemo.
k, next is the old guys. seriously. every movie about wizards and just about every fantasy movie or video game just has to have the old guy who also happens to be a wizard, who also know pretty much everything about everything but is really really vague about the fact that he knows everything about everything and then may or may not die for some amount of the time but has to also come back in some form or fasion so that all the fanboys don't get mad. yeah.
then you got the bad guys. typically, they're power hungry snots who exploit the fact that they're awesome wizards while they go tearing through the world (or just hiding in their castle) and looking for the source of ultimate power which will let them rule the world, which they pretty much achieve but since the bad guys have to lose, there's always some loophole with the ultimate power thing that can allow Link or Harry to take em down. yeah... its a good thing Voldemort never got the Triforce, cause dang... we'd be in big trouble.
anyways, now that i've outlined some of the basics of wizardry... i'm gonna start making fun of it. the first target will be Harry and his universe. sorry, yall.
the thing that really bothers me about the harry potter world is just the way that everyone has to do magic. maybe its cause i grew up watching magic users cast flare or luminare for the mere cost of 20 MP and destroying all the enemies on the screen effortlessly, but i just have trouble taking it seriously when in order to cast a dang spell you gotta flick your wrist correctly and say the proper incantation. sure, it was nice and fun and cute in the first couple of books/movies, which were clearly more intended for children then the later ones. i think the what really did it for me was when like the series started getting really dark, and like they're doing the evil ritual with harry's blood and wormtail's cut off hand and tom riddle's dad's bones in order to bring voldemort back to life, (which, by the way was the point in the series that my 88 year old grandma just happened to walk into during my brother/my marathon) and so you have go the most evil, powerful wizard brought back to life and he's ready to tear the world apart and like the first thing he says in his terrifying, commanding all-powerful, all evil voice is, "where is my wand?"
sorry, voldy. no matter how bad A you look, no matter how terrifying your return is, no matter how many acting classes you took and times you ran over that phrase, i just can't take you seriously anymore after that line.
and i still think a well-placed sniper could do the job against voldemort. just saying..
well, at least voldemort got one thing right. when he decided to take over the world, he pretty much took it over. he gained so much momentum by the last book it was ridiculous. that tends to be a common failure of the bad guy. like, oh Ganondorf for example.
i love the Legend of Zelda. I love just about everything about it. i still think that Ganon is one of the greatest villains ever. but really, dude? you got the triforce of power. you're a superpowerful wizard. you're capable of tearing Hyrule apart at your pleasure. what do you do with all that power?
oh. you sit in your castle waiting for link to slowly get all the items and heart containers and blue potions so that he can come in and kick your trash after saving the maidens or sages or whoever's gonna help him get into your dang tower. oops.. well, at least the organ lessons paid off..
and yeah, relocating everyone in the castle town to kakariko village isn't really gonna land you in the world-class evildoer club.
yet i still practically pooped myself when i played the game last and opened up the door of time and HE WAS RIGHT. FREAKING. BEHIND ME!! AAHHH!
i could also make fun of the fact that gandalf pretty much didn't do anything with his wizardy powers except for make his staff all shiny only to get it broken 2 seconds later... but Lord of the Rinds fanboys are the scariest and so i won't say anything more..
anyways that's all i have to say about wizardry for now. if i was a wizard, i definitely wouldn't be wand-dependent, and if i was an evil all-powerful wizard i doubt i'd just wait around in my castle while the good guys are out leveling up enough to kill me.
then again, its not like fiction was always supposed to make that much sense anyways...
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