DOUBLE BIRTHDAY ALL THE WAY!!!

Today is the birthday of two of my FAVORITE PEOPLE EVER.  EVER.  my super awesome sister Mandy, and her son (and my nephew) Miles.

That is Mandy.

This is Miles.

 They are both awesome, and i am going to tell you why.

Mandy had been my older sister since forever.  cause when they're older they're always there.  Mandy is roughly 12 years older than i am so she went to college when i was pretty little.  that's probably why i don't remember much about her from my childhood and its also a large factor into my vast ignorance about womanly things.  or whatever. 

here are some of my childhood memories about my sister Mandy:

-my turtle hates her.  and her friends.  i dunno why, but it just hated them.

-typically, Mandy would protect me from my older brothers.  in fact, i can't really ever remember a time where she has been mean to me.

-every Christmas when i was a little guy i would wake up and go into my sister's room and she would read me Christmas books in order to help me deal with the painstaking wait for my parents to get up.

Me and Mandy, i think around the time that she was about my age now and i was like 9 or 10

there's probably more, but again.. i was a little kid and she moved on to grown-up things before i even discovered pokemon. 

luckily for me, Mandy moved back to our hometown after she was done with college and my brother in law got done with law school and stuff.  for a while she even lived next door to us and so during my high school times i got to be BFFs with my sister.

so it kind of goes without saying that Mandy is awesome.  she was a middle school english teacher (middle school teachers must be saintly) before she became a full time momma (yet another saintly occupation).  she got married when i was 10 so from a young age i had another example of a good marriage besides my parents.  i have also had the opportunity to learn epic parenting skills from my sister and her kids.  

Mandy's always been one to stand up for what's right.  like always.  she isn't afraid to put me in my place when i get overly sarcastic or outspoken.  she doesn't really put up with crap when people give it to her.  but she is also patient with people who you need to be patient with.  pretty much she's just a really good example of a really good, faithful person.  yeah.

whenever i am home in california, i enjoy going to Mandy's house to hang out.  whether its talking to her while folding laundry, playing with her kids, watching a movie, or wrecking her at Dr. Mario, i love spending time with my big sister very much.

well it's Mandy's birthday today and i hope its a good one.  she would have gotten to chill out and relax earlier today, but she ended up watching her neighbor's kids, cause they're having a baby today too.  yeah.  way to help people on your birthday.

BUT, as if it wasn't enough, today is also Miles' birthday.  Mandy's firstborn.  my first nephew. 

this is me with Miles the day that he was born.

14 year old Scott holding lil Baby Miles.

Here are some awesome Miles facts that i bet you didn't know:

-Miles is left-handed.

-when he was a baby, Miles learned my name before everyone else.  he used to commando crawl all around the house (cause he did that all the time before he normal crawled) and he would call me "gott" and everyone else "da da."  yeah.  that is awesome.

-when he was about 1 or so i would watch him frequently during the mornings in the summer.  one day we somehow came up with a game where i would get a bunch of the ice outside of the icemaker in their fridge and we would try to throw ice into this watering can in his backyard.  it was a pretty hard game.  but pretty much every day i'd come over he would say "ice" and we would play.  

-Miles likes to draw.

-Miles has recently developed of a love of pokemon.  it makes me quite happy.  when my brother got married, Miles spent much of the reception playing pokemon gold version with my sister in law's lil brother who is the same age as Miles.  Miles has a lot to learn about pokemon, though.  he kept telling me how he was having his chikorita use leer on a geodude... sigh...

well, there you have it.  double birthday all the way... so intense.  it makes me really really happy that these two people are totally in my life and totally in my family. 

another castle? really?

i've got a lot of different thoughts on how i want to say this.  hopefully it all works together.  hopefully.

i will start off as i often do.  with Nintendo.  Super Mario Bros.  1985.  a great game.  it changed the world.  it changed my life.  Mario has to fight through 8 worlds with 4 level each against an onslaught of goombas, koopa troopas,  buzzy beetles, bullet bills, paratroopas, hammer bros, lakitus, and even Bowser himself.  at the end of every world is a castle level where you have to face off with Bowser.  you'd think you would find the princess on the other side of the king of koopas every time.  however, your experience is more likely to end up like this.

sorry.  she aint here.  can i take a message?

yesterday before church started, my bishop asked as he often does why i'm not married yet.  i didn't really want to hear it so i kind of bit back at him and asked why he always asks me that.  after a bit i think he saw it was frustrating me because he said how everyone bothered him after he was home from serving a mission and now its his turn to bother me.  i think from now on he wont bother me as much or it will be more of a joke than anything.

before i go on i just need to say that i have a very good bishop and i dont want people to think that i hate him or whatever.  he's very good man (as most bishops are) and him and his counselors are a big factor to my staying in this ward. 

 anyways, the frustrations i was relating to him was that i wasn't a lazy turd not asking girls out.  they just weren't saying yes.  he said to just keep trying or whatever.

here's the interesting thing though... they may not always say yes... but aren't exactly saying no either.  

the other night i was driving to a ward activity with my friend, and somehow this came up.  we were both lamenting over our inability to ever get a second date, and we came to a debate.. (well more of a discussion since we both saw good points in each other) as to whether its better for a girl to just say no when asked out... or to lie about it.  to give some vague answer about being busy or being gone or whatever.  

Dear Elizabeth,

I hope you're doing well.  And I think it's so awesome that you're out.. monitoring glacier patterns in some remote part of Alaska where no one can get a hold of you... I thought I'd try anyway. 

upon talking to other friends about it, the general consensus seemed to be that its better to lie.  now why would we do that?  some advantages were presented to me: 

you're not hurting the guy by saying no.  bluntly put, getting turned down hurts and there's no real way around that.  and for the most part, girls feel bad about it cause, well, its not really the nicest thing to do.  but it has to be done.  

building off of that, if you say something vague like "i'm busy" or "my family's in town,"  chances are that the guy might forget about it and move on and no real damage is done.  no one has to get hurt and no one has to feel bad.

 this is pretty much the predominating thought in our culture.  i'm not gonna say it's wrong.... but i'm not gonna say its right either.  quite frankly its been frustrating the crap out of me.  here's why.

bluntly put, guys are pretty shallow.  im no exception to that.  we can usually tell pretty quick if we like someone enough to want to date her or not.  i'm not saying i want to make someone my girlfriend within ten minutes of meeting her, but generally speaking, i will know if i want to take someone on a date pretty quickly.  for whatever reason, when it hits me its all at once and pretty strong.  like the little naked baby angel just pulls out his adorable lil heart arrows and that's it.  

that isn't to say that if i don't like after the first time i ever talk to her than that's it and she has no chance.  sometimes i meet someone and its really quick, and sometimes its someone who i'm friends with and one day it just kind of hits me that she's totally amazing.  (the second way is usually better anyways).

so anyways, let's say the lil guy lands a lil heart bullseye on me.  i can genuinely say that i like someone.  its not like crazy true love or whatever, but i can say that she's cute or whatever, i can pick out things about her personality that are attractive, and life is just a little bit better when i'm around her.  i'd say its enough to warrant a first date, wouldn't you?

asking someone out is typically a nightmare fore me.  it doesn't matter how nice she is.  it doesn't matter how funny i can be around her.  it doesn't matter how good of friends we are, or how good she looks that day.  the process of approaching, asking, getting the phone number and all that... its just hard. but i can deal with it.  

i've never had a girl say no to a first date.  sometimes they don't say yes, but for a first date they pretty much always have a legitimate reason.  

the hard part though is the dreaded process of asking for a second date.  sure, i may have got the first date, but then again, i've beat world 1 of Super Mario millions of times.  and world 2 is just that much harder.  (ok so usually i don't lose a life till world 4.. but you get the idea). 

at this point she isn't obligated to say yes anymore.  she's humored me with the first date and if she doesn't want me around she shouldn't have to put up with it.  by asking for the second date, (and third, fourth, etc) i'm taking more and more risks.  i'm telling her she's worth my time more than anyone else.  i'd rather be spending my time with her than with other girls, my friends, my brothers, whoever.  

so she's got some options here.  she can tell the truth by saying yes, cause she wants to go on another date, she can say no thanks, because she honestly doesn't see it going anywhere... or she can give the ever popular vague answer and leaves it up to me to figure it out. 

well i'm not an idiot, people.  if she says something like "ohhh i'm busy," or "that weekend won't work," or "i'm just not sure," and then doesn't say that maybe another time will work or that she really would like to but cant... yeah, i'm gonna assume that she doesn't want to go out again.

but i am so. fetching. sick. of giving up every time i get an answer like that.  people say you're supposed to be persistent, right?  if i get a vague answer, i'm gonna call again.  i'm gonna tell her i think she's worth my time again.  

a friend told me that a friend or relative of hers asked his wife out SEVEN TIMES before they finally went on a date.  seven!  Super Mario has eight worlds! eight before he gets the princess! its no different!

ok, does persistence like that really work all the time though?  for that one guy who made it, how many other guys called a chick seven times before she finally just said no?  

i really do want to be brave and persistent.  but i also really dont want to be that guy who always calls and bugs the crap out of someone cause she's just too dang nice to say no.  at what point is being persistent just being a dang pest?  was Mario really all that persistent and brave, or did the princess just hide herself in world 8 on purpose, hoping that he'd get the hint by world 4?

Hmm, a "new quest," huh?  so i guess the first 8 worlds weren't enough to prove my interest...

well there's gonna be a point where i'm gonna stop.  i don't want to keep getting vague answers.  i want to be brave and stuff but i for one am not gonna drive myself insane chasing a girl who doesn't want me to chase her!  why not?  cause i respect myself too, dang it!  if i go through the effort of trying to impress a girl, i think i deserve to know what she thinks.  if the answer is "yes," then great! we'll keep going from there.  that doesn't mean you have to be in love with me and that doesn't mean i even expect you to like me right off the bat.  and if the answer is "no," that's ok too!  really, thank you for at least giving an answer!  if you don't know yet, that's ok too!  you can say that too!  we can talk about it!  maybe it will help you to.

Dear Elizabeth,

Again, I hope you're doing really good. I haven't heard from you yet, but... Anyways, the weirdest thing!  I met your identical twin sister, Liz, the other night at a party!  Wow, she looks just like you!  It's so trippy... Anyway, she said you miss me but not to try to get a hold of you cause you're real busy... and the weirdest thing is, I guess she's joining you on the expedition?  Wow, that's totally cool!

i think girls worry way too much about "hurting a guy" and "feeling bad."  i for one know very well that i'm risking getting turned down every time i ask a girl out.  i prepare my head for the worst scenario every time (that way its always good hahah).  but really.  my world isn't gonna come crashing down if you say no. i have enough self respect to know that if a girl says no, that doesn't mean im a freak or a loser.  she just wasn't shot by the little naked baby angel, and thats just fine.

its ok.  i know i'm awesome either way.

when my friend said that its ok to lie because the guy will probably forget by the next week or two, i had to say that i didn't agree with that.  if a girl strikes me as someone that i want to date, i'm not gonna just forget about her cause she cant go out with me for one weekend.  i'm not so dumb that i don't know you might have another date that week or something, and you're not so unattractive that i would forget about you after a week or two.  thats just how it is. 

yeah.  i have a good memory.  sometimes is a curse.

anyways, i'm not going to say that we should always just say no every time.  its probably different for different people.  but i hope i at least got you thinking.  i think i would usually prefer to just be told no, because i already have enough trouble as it is standing up for myself and for what i want.  i tend to take the easy way out of things, and if a girl says 'not this week,' and keeps saying it, i tend to just back off.  but i'm kind of at the point now where i'm tired of that.  there's a lot of really amazing girls at this university.  i meet one almost every week.  i'm just tired of being afraid to say how i feel cause of the vague answers i get.  

but i see the point in being vague as well.  so really i don't know what to do (surprise surprise).

Dear Elizabeth and Liz,

I hope you're doing well.  Anyway, I was at the mall, and I met your identical cousin, Beth.. I didn't even know that they had identical cousins and it made me miss you even more..

hopefully this doesn't sound too bitter.  overall i am very happy with how this year has been.  i have a really great ward full of really amazing women, and just as many girls that i've met through class or activities or people setting me up with them.  some of my best friends who i met within the last year are girls who i liked but they didn't end up feeling the same way.  they've been great enough not to make it weird when it didn't work.  and heck, who knows, maybe the lil baby angel will shoot one of them down the road.

so yeah. i really am happy.  thanks to all the women who've played a big part in my life.  thanks to my mom and sister for teaching me how to treat and respect women.  thanks to the girls who actually called themselves my girlfriend at some point.  thanks to the girls who have said "yes," "no," and every last thing in between.

and thanks to the AQUABATS for provided the hilarious song lyrics in between paragraphs, which just so nicely fit with the subject matter. 

...bbbring..

"Hello?"

"Hello, uh, is this Elizabeth?"

"Yes it is"

"Elizabeth, its me, Roger!  From the beach.."

"Oh, did I say Elizabeth, I mean, um... its Francine..."

"Ohh... Francine?"

"Yeah, I'm watching their house while they're gone over in Europe."

"Europe, I thought they were in Alaska"

"Oh did I say Ala.. yeah, Alaska, they're in Alaska, well, whatever, Europe, Alaska its the same.  Well, they're gonna be changing this phone number, so you probably shouldn't call here anymore, ok? Ok, bye."

"....oh, man."

if i had superpowers

when i was a little kid, i wanted to be the hero who would save the day and make everything awesome and stuff.  i would probably have awesome superpowers or be really good at sword fighting or something.  my nephew does a pretty good job at reflecting what i could have been..

not a great quality picture... cause facebook didn't let me get the large size off my brother's profile.. whatever

oh wait.  never mind.  that isn't my nephew.  that is Super King.  my nephew's name is Phil, and he doesn't have anything to do with that guy.  duh.

many kids drop their hopes and dreams in order to try and be popular or whatever by the time they're in high school.  well.. that didn't really happen for me.  i still wanted to be a superhero.  in fact, my best friend Sean Morris and i made this joke about how we were superheroes.  then again maybe i kind of dragged him into it...

you see, it all started my freshman year of high school.  Sean Morris and i would carpool home.  next to his house was this vacant lot with tons of weeds and dirt and stuff, in addition to one of the coolest things i have ever seen in my life.

The Zebra Outhouse.

well, i don't totally remember how it all started, but basically, we decided that we were superheroes and we based our super-adventures out of the Zebra Outhouse.  we made a crappy website to document our adventures, and claimed our hometown under our jurisdiction, calling ourselves the Zebra Outhouse Superheroes.

there's the team.  me, my best friend, and a skeleton (or El Skeledonte, as we called him).  not pictured is my nephew, who was a baby at the time.  cause every superhero team is way better with a baby on it.

our adventures included hiding in trash cans to bother our friend Erica, throwing water balloons at people (only once), babysitting my nephew, buying push-ups after being denied ice cream, fighting concourses of ninjas too great to number, and thwarting the plans of our friend Louie who was an evil genius (mainly because he always like being the bad guy and cause he went to a private all guys school instead of ours).

well to build on the Zebra Outhouse Universe (and cause i was really bored sometimes) i started making crappy-quality MS paint comics of the Zebra Outhouse Superheroes.  the comics starred our superhero alter-egos: "The Gremlin" (a short little green gremlin guy with plunger power based on me) "Commanderwho" (an awkward panda-man based on Sean) and El Skeledonte as himself.  the superheroes had to deal with hordes of ninjas sent by an evil genius, to other things such as dealing with a rat problem or accidentally breaking the sun.  half of the time they were doing the bidding of the gigantic chicken king (based on another high school friend) who would either send them on adventures to save the world or make them do more trivial tasks like fixing his plumbing or getting him fast food (which always proved to be dangerous).

our senior year Sean and i made a flash cartoon in our digital media class that was totally based on the comics that i was making and the running joke we had all throughout high school.  we did all the animations and drawings, all the voices (except for the girl voice) and my brother made a soundtrack for us.  it was pretty rad.


well i got to college and you'd assume that i would have outgrown my desire to be a superhero by now.  then again, you'd also think i would have outgrown my love of pokemon, and that clearly hasn't happened either.

i often think about what it would be like if i had superpowers.  what would i have?  super strength?  fire breath?  laser vision?  sub-zero ice punches?  invisibility?  psychic powers?  flying?  a rock-like exterior?  fish talking abilities?

i pretty much think about it every day.  i think i've decided how it would go down.

first off, the ideal form of superheroism would actually take place in a cartoon universe.  seriously.  instead of having actual superpowers, i'd much rather just live in a cartoon world and abide by the laws of carton physics and just be awesome on top of that.  i could just call myself a superhero for fighting bad guys.

you see, you don't really need superpowers with cartoon physics.  in a cartoon world, i could run away super fast if i had to, be as strong as i need to be at times (yet very weak at other times), and i could pull any weapon of any sort out from behind my back at any time.  what's this? a horde of ninjas?  well, good thing i can pull out any of an assortment of plungers, mallets, maces, or pretty much anything i want!

another great thing about living in a cartoon world is that no matter how beat up i get, no matter how many ninjas pummel me to the ground, i wouldn't ever die!  sure, i may have some bandages on me for like.. the rest of the episode if that, but there's no way i could ever be killed.  heck, half the time it isn't even certain if i'm killing the ninjas themselves or if they're just being knocked out... either way they keep coming back to life anyways.  but i wouldn't ever die, and i wouldn't ever lose.  why?  cause you can't kill the main character, that's why!

well i have to be content with the fact that i'm not in a cartoon world, so i figure i have to have real superpowers instead.  sooo what would i choose?  well, after thinking long and hard about it, i have decided that there is only one perfect superpower for me:

MARINE COMMUNICATION!  i would love to talk with fish!  that would be the most epic thing ever!  the violent crime rampaging the ocean would cease to exist under my awesome reign! fish, whales, and dolphins alike would all finally be able to tell us their feelings and thoughts about things like.. surfing.. and plankton.

ok yeah.  i'm totally joking.  i would never pick the lamest superpower ever thought up of.

Sorry Aquaman. but even the Wonder Twins are more useful than you are.

no for real now.  if i had superpowers i would definitely want to be psychic.  lemme tell you why.

first off, i'm not buff.  my muscles are in no way imposing on... anything.  so even if i had super strength, i'm not sure if i'd even know how to fight with it.  but if i was psychic.. it would be easy.  bad guy points a gun at me?  i'd toss it out of his hand.  with my brain.  guy wants to try and tackle me?  ok, if you dont mind me levitating upwards so you jump and tackle the ground?  what's that?  missiles heading towards the earth?  no problem, i'll just send a telepathic message to Superman telling him what's up.  with my brain.

that's right.  i'd stop crime, save the world, and sweet talk the ambassador's daughter all while maintaining a mild-mannered alter-ego who doesn't do much other than poop himself at the sight of danger. 



well, thats what life would be like if i was more awesome.  but, i'll just have to deal with being normal old Scott.  it aint bad, but i certainly couldn't fight anyone anytime soon.  for now i'll just keep waiting for the day when i get zapped by lightning or get trapped in a radioactive explosion or touch some weird meteorite from space, giving me my awesome super-awesomeness.

of course, for all you know, it could have already happened by now.

my dad

this is my dad.  and me when i was like 13 or whatever. 

 

 

 

yeah.  pretty epic.

someday i might be as epic as my dad.  might be.  anyways, here are some reasons why my dad is awesome, in no particular order


i haven't really ever like math all that much, but i have to appreciate the fact that its like totally my dads thing.  well not totally, but hes good enough at it that he was like a good accountant and stuff.  basically, cause of that he had a good enough job that i could eat and like be alive and go to college and stuff.  plus, he was always home between 6 and 630.  i would always wait by the door and pop out and scare him when i was a little kid.  i dont know why he never really got mad at me for that.  then again he never really got mad anyways so yeah..

of course during tax season he wouldn't be home until like... late.  real late.  except for fridays cause he would get home on time to go out with my mom.  yeah.  totally got his priorities right.

its never really been a question about whether or not my parents love each other.  whether it was dad taking mom on a date pretty much every week or catching them kissing in the kitchen (which when you're a little kid its like eewww) OR (take note, brethren) when my dad would give my mom flowers on each of the kid's birthdays just to say thanks for having the child.  yeah.  so legit.

dad pretty much didnt have any hobbies cause he'd just rather be with his family.  he came to a lot of my elementary school field trips and was at almost every sports match or band concert or whatever we were doing. 

dad was always really good at taking care of old ladies.  like he'd always help them out and stuff.  on the other end of the spectrum, he also had talent at like helping with little babies and getting them to sleep and stuff. 

most importantly my dad taught me how to rely on Jesus Christ.  the way he acted and the way he treated people was a pretty dang good example of what the Savior would do Himself.  cause of my dad i know that work is super important (as much of a lazy pile i can be) and that God and family are the most important things. ever. 

so yeah.  happy fathers day, yall.

totally MINT! i mean... COOL! er.. its so BAD!! ok yeah so its just lame now..

so i saw Super 8 last night.  a totally awesome movie.  i'm not trying to ruin anything, but during the movie, one kid kept saying the word "mint" instead of "cool" or "awesome."  apparently in like the 70's thats what the word to use was. 

it got me thinking though.. what makes fads so cool?  and then what makes something totally cool totally lame after its not a fad anymore?  i dont know.  but its weird. 

whatever happened to all the stuff that was awesome when we were kids?  for some reason legos, pogs, power rangers, giga pets and pokemon apparently aren't cool anymore. what happened?

maybe some of these fads we just "grow out" of.  take power rangers for example.  when i was 5, it was awesome.  then i stopped watching it or whatever, but years later when i was a freshman in college, i watched the power rangers movie with some of my bros.  it was hilariously bad.  still awesome.. but in a different way i suppose.

i think what often happens is that a fad gets taken over by a much more awesome and superior fad.  take a look giga pets or tomagachis.  all the kids had them, all the teachers were telling the kids to put them away.. yeah.  i never thought they were that cool, but whatever.  after the far superior wave of pokemon nuked the United States, i never heard of giga pets again.  now that's a dang fad i could get into.  i mean look, which one is more awesome?

The winner is obvious.

somehow, someway, even pokemon got knocked off the the coolness train.  but how?  its so cool! so awesome!  but alas, the lords of the fad had spoken.. and that was that. 

for while i had doubted the coolness of pokemon.  that was till i remembered how awesome it was. seriously.  its a great nintendo game, a pretty fun card game, and a.. well the TV series is about just as good as any other crappy japanese animation show translated into english...

so people are often surprised that i still play it.  or when a new pokemon game comes out.  "what? they're still making that?" well yeah.  nintendo didn't stop making super mario or legend of zelda.  why stop with another awesome series of games?

maybe yall are right.  maybe everyone just grew out of pokemon and i'm still stuck in the 90's.  maybe i should just grow up.  maybe i should just leave behind me childish love of pokemon and move on to more grown up things like call of duty or gears of war.  yeah.  that'll show them..

to this i ask the lady-types.. would you rather your choice of man be playing the game where the most violent thing that happens is a cartooney looking lizard guy scratches another guy which is really just a crappy animation of like three lines going across the face of his opponent?  or is there something more appealing about the manliness of shooting bloody alien-zombies with an assortment of 50 different blood-and-guts-spewing guns and explosives and for some reason the obligatory sword that always finds its way in there?

ironically, every time i have brought this situation up to a young lady, (and by every time i mean the one time i remember and the one other time that i can't remember if i'm making up or not) she has said that she actually enjoys playing the gut spilling shooter games.  so either.. i really do need to grow up, or everyone is insane.

whatever.  all yall are insane.  pokemon is awesome.

i especially look forward to the time years down the road when i have my own sons who i can play pokemon with.  THAT will be awesome.  if my first scenario didn't convince you, lest take a look at these:

"hey dad.. what are you playing?"
"pokemon.  its totally awesome.  i just caught a geodude."
"cool! can i play?"
"yeah! i'll teach you all the types and stuff"
"totally MINT, dad! you're the best!"

compare with this:

"hey dad, what are you playing?"
"gears of war 27.  its totally awesome.  i just riddled this alien with bullets while cutting him in half with the chainsaw that is conveniently attached to my machine gun."
"cool! can i play?"
"yeah uh er.. no.. wait.. your mother said i'm not supposed to play this in front of you.. you should probably go outside or something."
"but mom said she loves these kind of gam-"
"no, my boy! just run! get away from the carnage!"


i'm pretty sure nothing legitimizes an argument like throwing seven year old kids into the mix. 

pokemon for the win!!

indeed.

i really have nothing to complain about.