red potion

i pretty much just laughed when i realized that valentine's day is actually this coming friday. i laugh cause it's probably the most emotionally weird and just plain funny day to go through and see others' reactions (and my own for that matter). i'm sure that facebook is going to be drooling with the typical "OMIGOSH I JUST LUUUUUHHHVE MY GFBFHUBBYETERNALWIFEYLOVER<3<3" on the one end and the "yet another single's awareness day in front of netflix and ice cream #singleprobs #ishouldjustgetmarried feeling lonely :(" on the other end, and everything in between. if nothing else, my students will make the day interesting.. to say the least.

another great thing about this friday is that it will mark the last valentine's day before i hit the "official" menace to society age in just a few months. i'm actually looking forward to becoming a menace, because i'm actually more or less at a point where i'm contributing more to society than i ever have in my life...

..and that's what you call ironic!!!

to be blunt, the dating pressure in the Church and especially in provo/BYU is pretty intense. the religious reasons for it are actually pretty sound- we believe that marriage is a covenant with God, and that's nothing to take lightly. but we've added a TON of social pressure to it (and sadly our other covenants as well) that make it so much more frustrating that it needs to be. we've all been in a church meeting where we've gotten yelled at for not dating enough. we've probably judged each other when we see relationships fall apart or things not go well for ourselves/others. it's hard enough on it's own- let's not make it any harder.


i'm not gonna pretend that i have any answers to the "menace" issue. everyone is far too different to give solid dating advice to. no one really knows what they're talking about- which is OK, cause most people end up together somehow anyways!

so if i could say anything to my frustrated friends this valentines day- be you menace, pre-menace, or a lonely lady (cause you know, it's solely the men's faults we all suck at dating), its that you are awesome. very much more than you give yourself credit for. why? cause despite the frustration, the pain, the yelling, judging, the being told you aren't good enough, the feeling like crap, and everything in between, you keep going. you stay faithful. we don't value that enough.

i remember once i was driving to general conference with a friend, while listening to it on the radio. in part of Elder Anderson's talk he said something like-- "I am amazed to see so many single people going into their late 20's and 30's..." we both groaned as we waited for his apostolic rebuke, then he said-- "... who still keep the law of chastity!" we then collectively cheered. we really don't give enough credit to those who keep trying, keep moving forward, and don't let the past (no matter how crazy) get them down.

try to be happy this valentines day. whether you've got someone or not, with or without plans. try not to dwell in the past if it hurts. try not to demonize people who may have let you down. if you can, try to be brave. do something nice for someone you care about. say something nice to someone you might like. but most importantly, just don't beat yourself up. you're too awesome for that.














worst case scenario, i'll just become a full-on hermit and give bad advice to people in caves and dungeons. come visit and maybe i'll give you a sword or a note or something XD

pay me for the door repair charge.