turtles and ketchup.. you'd think someone would've heard of them by now

one day i was just minding my own business, right, hanging with my friends or something to that effect.  someone said something or other and i was like "oh man... awkward turtle"

and, uh, then it happened.


everyone, and i mean everyone i was with was though i had gone insane.  like i didn't know what i was saying, like i had totally made it up.  i swear i didn't.  i picked up the saying in like high school or early college or something. no one had heard of it, and it was weird.

so i was thinking about it, and i typed in 'awkward' into google.  of course, awkward family photos is what comes of first, respectably, but turtle is the first word when..  you type a 't' after.

see?  i'm not crazy.  and that little guy is adorable.

its funny when people say things and no one else gets it.  my mom does it all the time, since, she's... well... from a slightly different generation than i am.  heck, i don't get half of the things my brothers say about the 80's (though i do know a thing or two about the 80s), and they're of a slightlier different generation..

or, you know, people from different countries or states have their phrases that no one gets.  and then you stare at them like they're totally insane and they're like "what?"  its kind of like the reaction i got when i told people that i didn't know what fry sauce was.

for real, i don't really know what it is about utah specific culture.. but i swear that people poop their pants more when they realize that no one else knows what they're talking about.  but Scott!  you're a member of the Church!! you know ALL about utah, right? um. no, i don't.  maybe i didn't pay enough attention in sunday school growing up or something.

i remember it pretty well, it was my first year at BYU and i was eating in the good ol cannon center (which, by the way is pretty dang good for a cafeteria..).  we had burgers and fries and then there were the big containers of the stuff that you put on burgers and fries, you know like.. ketchup... mustard.. pink stuff...

"wait, what the crap is that pink stuff?"

and then... it happened...



'like oh. my. GOSH. you don't know what fry sauce is?'

um. no. i don't.  i put ketchup on my fries.  like a normal person.  no one outside of utah uses fry sauce. and no, idaho and gilbert, arizona don't count either.  they're basically the same place. 

whenever i go to a fast food place in provo, they always ask if i want fry sauce.  and every time i hear that question, i'm tempted to ask the same thing that probably every person who isn't from utah has thought at least 3-4 times when asked that question themselves:

"you mean ketchup?"

"no sir, i meant fry sauce"

"yeah.  ketchup.  the sauce that you put of fries.  cause this is America.  and here in America, we put ketchup on our freedom fries, boy!"


when they finally told me what fry sauce is (ketchup & mayo) i was like "oh."  really? thats it?  we totally have that.  i've totally had fry sauce.  we just don't call it that where i'm from.  nope.  i've always called it "thatstuffthatmymomputsonroastbeefsandwitches."  what, i mean you haven't heard of that? oh. my. goodness.  why don't you call it that?


anyways, i'm done.  fry sauce is good, but i don't put it on fries.  that's just weird.

reasons to be happy

you know, when you really think about it, i guess you could be angry all the time.  there's always something that you could let get in your way.  the world's going down the toilet.  people are mean.  that girl said no to you.  snake is totally overpowered.  that test kicked your trash.  you're just not quite as good as jimmer.

i could go on.  but really?  today is the day that our country has set aside to look for things to be happy about.  and you don't have to think even half as hard to find reasons why we should be happy all the time.

in many ways this semester has been kind of a nightmare for me, so i'm glad to have a short break where i can look at how good life really is.  it only took me a couple of minutes to find a cornucopia of things to be grateful for.  and thus, here begins my cheesy list, which, i hope you will enjoy:

first off, i am grateful that my friend's fish that i am fish-sitting are not dead.  they are totally alive.  even though someone thought i couldn't be trusted with them.


i'm grateful for my friend from home, who has an uncanny habit of calling me and wanting to hang out just about every time i have a bad week.


i'm grateful for a dad who taught me more in 14 years than most dads could probably teach me in 40.


i am happy silly little moments go down, like when you're walking to school 10 feet away from someone in your ward, but you aren't sure so you don't talk to each other, and end up awkwardly walking to the same location.. only to find out days later that she was thinking the exact same thing.


or when a girl in your ward see that you have harvest moon and laughs at how awesome that game is.

or for a roommate who makes cookies for the whole ward so that meeting people becomes that much easier.

i am totally grateful that campus is literally crawling with babies.  i can't justify being in a bad mood after seeing a lil baby scoot by looking at me all cute-like.


juice runs make me happy.


so do goldfish crackers.


and gnomes.


i'm grateful for the times that i do beat snake into the ground.

i'm grateful for girls who are nice enough to go out of their way to talk to new people.  yall don't know how much of a difference it can make.

i'm grateful for friends who can look at me and tell that something is wrong, and who care enough to ask.


hugs make me happy too.


i'm grateful that my grandma is totally in love with my friend Chris.  its just adorable.

it makes me happy that my mommy will always care about me, not matter how obnoxious i am to her. 

i'm grateful that i successfully used the word cornucopia in an earlier sentence.


Finally, i have recently been more and more grateful for a God who can fix anything.  there are problems in life, there are bad things going on in the world, but He knows each of us and understands what we have to deal with.  we may wonder where He is sometimes, but He always knows exactly what we need, and when we're able to wait for it, He'll make us happier than we could ever make ourselves.




now go eat some pie.

just give me the dang spark notes

over the weekend i noticed something funny.  it definitely wasn't the first time, and it sure as heck won't be the last time.  i've just finally figured out a way to make fun of it.

i'm gonna tell yall a story or two.

k first one.  the four of us get back from a "hot date" with training wheels, and we're at our friends' apartment.  most of the girls who live there are in attendance, along with my other friend and his gff who frequently visit the apartment.  they're sitting at a chair at the table so i go and give him a one-armed hug from behind the chair while scratching his head (don't be jealous).  then BOOM.  i see it.  there it is.  the left hand.  that aint his girlfriend no more.  she's leveled up.  she's evolving, they're moving on the the next quest.  then it hits me.  i'm in an apartment full of girls, why the fetch hasn't anyone else noticed yet? don't girls have some kind of radar for this thing?

"um, he's rubbing your boyfriend's head," is what i hear next.  really?  am i the only one who's seeing this?  i wanted to drop a nuke on everyone's mind right there.  break the news, let the cat out of its bag.  i figured it wasn't my place though so i just relocated to the living room.

luckily, the words get out before too long, "well.. he's not my boyfriend anymore."  then the entire apartment jumped up and down screaming as if they had just seen jimmer make a half-court pass to justin beiber who dunks the ball for the win.  i stand there deciding whether or not i should be proud that my roommate is the only other one who noticed before the announcement was made.

well, at this point i've got all the information i need.  my really good friend is engaged, they're totally happy, and they're gonna fly off over a double rainbow all the way across the sky to the land of happily ever after on a wild honeymoon stallion that i should get to work on taming.  then all the girls sit down and ask for the whole story, including everything that went on that night, every word said, every vomitingly cute gesture and detail that i don't feel the need to hear about.  i've got the important points down: they're engaged and they're happy.  i look to my roommate and petition that we leave this cutefest before its too late and we go and watch community.  win-WIN.

next story.  a friend and i notice a certain BRO of ours spending a good amount of time with a SISTAH.  so of course we bother him about it.  we try to figure out how he feels about it.  or whatever.  then i go and bug the SISTAH cause i want to know her deal.  she's actually pretty cool about it, but its her roommates who are crazy.

"LIKE OHMYGOSH!!! WHAT DID HE SAY?  TELL ME EVERYTHING!"
"um, actually, i don't really know yet.  i just want to get yall's opinion..."
"OH. MY. GOODNESS.  YOU HAVE TO TELL ME.  GO TALK TO HIM.  THEN TELL ME.  TELL ME EVERYTHING.  PROMISE ME YOU'LL TELL ME EVERYTHING."

well, he asked her out.  she told me all about it later that day.  it basically went like this:

"he asked me out"
"cool.  when are yall going out?"
"this day."
"cool, what are yall doing?"
"this thing"
"cool"

(yes i actually know what they're doing and when, but i don't care to put ALL their business up for all the world (er, my 15 readers) to see).

so yeah.  she told me.  then something weird happened.  she's like, well, i gotta go tell my roommates about it.  and i'm like.. "wait you just told me they all knew."
"oh but they want to know all the details."

??? the crap?  you just told me all the details.. you're going on a date on this day doing this thing.. what else is needed?  he pulled you away from your friends to get you alone, he probably made some small talk, asked you out... what else could have happened?  did he kick a ninja in the face?  stop a bank robbery? step on a kitten?  what else is there to know that you didn't tell me?  and you sure as heck know that i would want to know if a ninja appeared and whether or not he kicked it.

i go back to my apartment and one of her other roommates is there, bothering me about what happened.  and i'm like "yeah he asked her out.  they're going out this day doing this thing."
"but what happened?"
"what do you mean what happened i just told you?"
"but what did they say? what happened? i need details."
"i dont know.  all i asked for was the 3-4 page essay, not the whole dang book."
"but i want the whole book! tell me now!"
"i didn't read the book, i just read the spark notes!"

i find that the need for most girls to know every dang detail about everything just plain funny.  and further, they get frustrated when i don't give them every dang detail, cause that aint what i'm looking for anyways.  i'm not saying its bad, i dont think yall are nosy, i just think its funny.  but if you want to know every word that was said, every gesture, every detail and derive every secret, hidden, most likely unintended or over-analyzed meaning from them... then don't don't don't ask a guy.  you'll just get disappointed.  but if you want to know the important points, the general feel (yeah, we have feelings... sometimes), AND the meaning of every word, every gesture, every detail (most likely the meaning is.. well nothing), then go ahead.  ask us.  for real.  we're smarter than we look.





sometimes.

now for real, i have a 3-4 page book report to write about a book i read.

the greatest Hero who ever lived

"And he cometh into the world that he may save all men if they will hearken unto his voice; for behold, he suffereth the pains of all men, yea, the pains of every living creature, both men, women, and children, who belong to the family of Adam."  2 Nephi 9:21

"And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.  And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities."  Alma 7: 11-12

"And lo, he shall suffer temptations, and pain of body, hunger, thirst, and fatigue, even more than man can suffer, except it be unto death; for behold, blood cometh from every pore, so great shall be his anguish for the wickedness and abominations of his people."  Mosiah 3:7

"And it came to pass that as I was thus racked with torment, while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins, behold, I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world.  Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting bands of death.  And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more.  And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!"  Alma 36:17-20

"And the Lord provided for them that they should hunger not, neither should they thirst; yea, he also gave them strength, that they should suffer no manner of afflictions, save it were swallowed up in the joy of Christ."  Alma 31:38

"Have ye any that are sick among you?  Bring them hither.  Have ye any that are lame, or blind, or halt, or mained, or leprous, or that are withered, or that are deaf, or that are afflicted in any manner?  Bring them hither and I will heal them, for I have compassion upon you, my bowels are filled with mercy."  3 Nephi 17:7

"Come unto me, al ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls."  Matthew 11:28-29

He was there when my other could have died; when her blood pressure was too high from the pregnancy.  I don't think the doctor just knew himself when to operate, so that she could live and I could be born.

He was with me when I heard the worst news of my life, when someone important to me got sick, and when it didn't get any better.

He was there every time I didn't feel like I was good enough, or unworthy, or when I thought my efforts weren't getting anywhere.

He's been there when I couldn't move, couldn't talk, could hardly even think, when I thought I couldn't go any further.

He has always been there when I needed Him, and He always will be.

the long drive home

today i made the drive from my grandma's house in salt lake city to my home in los altos, california.  its more or less a straight trip west that took about 12-13 or so hours.  it was fun, because i got to ride with my older sister and brother and my sisters three little kids.  yeah.

here are some things that made the trip quite memorable:

i got to relive some parts of my childhood.  my brother brought tons of old disney cartoons to watch on the trip.  the kids really liked gummi bears, which i haven't watched since i was like 5.  a great cartoon, though, i think i was about ready to be done when it was done.

i told my niece that i am 7 years old and she believed me.  she kept saying, "when Miles was 7, he wasn't as big as you are."  (Miles, her brother, is currently 8, and he still isn't as big as i am).  but she never decided that i wasn't 7 and in fact when her mom told her that i'm not she was like "yeah he is.  he told me."

it was my turn to drive during the middle stretch of the trip, which was basically all of nevada.  i've always felt like nevada is one of those states that gets the cursed reputation of being a desolate wasteland that you only see cause you have to drive through it to get to where you're actually going.  now i've never actually been to nevada and i've only been there to get to utah or home, so i guess i can see why people think that way.  but since i had like 4 1/2 hours on the same road going down through the state i really didn't see any problems with it.  sure, it aint green like the south, its mountains aren't as big as utah's, and it doesn't have pines and stuff that appeared once we got to california, but i still thought it was a nice drive.  it wasn't like this totally barren waste that people say it is; i thought the yellowish brown grass looked pretty and the mountains were cool but not so high that it just like blocks out the sky and whatnot.  really, i figure if you're expected a wasteland that's what you'll find but if you look for whats good in anything you'll find that too. 


after dinner i came to a sort of monumental realization about my sister's three kids.  i realized that they are all very much like the animaniacs.  my oldest nephew talks a lot... like, a lot, as does yakko.  the middle brother is a goof and a joker like wakko, and my niece is just super cute like dot.  yeah.. it was just funny when that hit me.  its like they're a parallel family or something.

well then we got home and now i'm here.  i honestly do tend to get bored when i come home.. but with so many of my friends leaving provo as it is for the break, its more or less of a choice between being bored here and bored there.  and it is my only chance to be here until the Christmas break.  however i really am looking forward to my time here.  there's friends who i want/need to spend some time with.  there's family that i can get a lot closer to.  there's a lil dog who's itchin to get walked  there is a harry potter marathon that has been begging my brother and i to conquer it.  bottom line is, there's a lot of good that can be done wherever you are, and there's a lot to appreciate about the people and places you know.. or don't really know at all.  

dirtbags & dorkwards 2

 so i actually wrote this one back in May.  but i noticed a minor grammar mistake and corrected it, and i guess since its been so long since i wrote it it now thinks that this got published in August.  yeah.  go technology.


recently i have allowed myself to become somewhat frustrated with the lady-types over matters that are very much insignificant and shouldn't really frustrate me.  luckily for me, said frustration has not lasted long thanks to some humblings experiences which i have had in my child development class (which, by the way i am actually taking at the suggesting of a girl that i know).

so on monday while semi-grouchily sitting there in class we were learning about like genetics and stuff and how babies inherit stuff from parents and whatnot.  yeah.  after the first half the teacher was like, 'ok now let's have a break and when we come back we're gonna watch some birthing videos.'


holy. crap.



well i couldn't be frustrated with women after that.  compared to pregnancy and childbirth i can't really say that i've ever had any problems.  like ever.

so watching these.. videos and the subsequent discussion made me think about some of my own experiences.  being the youngest i obviously never saw my own mom carry children.  my sister grew up and left the house when i was pretty young so i just didn't really learn a whole lot about what women have to deal with till later.

so to continue my life education my sister moved back into the area around the same time that she was having her kids so i got to see what is was like to have someone that i was close to go through the whole thing.  i figure her experience was similar to most pregnancies, with the illness, tiredness, nausea, constant hunger, and getting kicked in the guts regularly.  not to mention that when she's pregnant she tends to burp in front of me.

now i wasn't there to see it, but i know that my mom had a pretty hard time carrying children cause whenever i annoyed her or teased her too much she'd just remind me that when she was pregnant with me that her blood pressure was so high that she was bedridden for like forever (or whatever) and that it almost killed her.  that would basically always end my teasing cause there's really no way around the pregnancy/childbirth card.  really, there isn't.

and then my mom and sister are always saying how its worth it to deal with such a ridiculously painful process, and how much they love their kids and stuff like that.  wow. just wow

now, a majority of the women that i know are my age and do not yet have children.  but at some point or another i've heard most of the girls that i know talk about how they look forward to having their own kids and being mothers sometime in the future. 

i'd have to be a pile of crap not to have respect for moms and what they do.  yeah,  i know, mothers day was like last sunday, but i also didn't watch birthing videos on mothers day.  so yeah.

now, while this class period was an effective reminder for me to respect women, i still let myself get a bit annoyed and frustrated again.  looks like i'm a slow learner.  in order to fix this problem, i had another humbling class period in the same child development class.

so this time a lot of the discussion was on infancy as well as puberty/adolescence  (yeah.. that a lot in one day hahah).  we got on the subject of eating disorders and our teacher told us that this is basically the #1 problem for women at BYU. 

this was both surprising and depressing for me.  the other sad thing is that a major reason that a lot of girls develop eating disorders is cause guys say stupid things to them.  some dirtbag that a girl's dating tells her that she's not pretty.  or even her dad.  i don't really want to think about it cause it pisses me off.

this probably aint the only factor, but its probably the biggest.  and of course, most guys who are my friends and are reading this aren't piles of crap.  but i'm really disappointed that despite all the awesome studmuffin cool cool super good guys that can be found at this university, there are still enough dirtbags who make girls feel worthless.

now sometimes we do gotta tell someone that we aren't interested.  something that i've learned recently is that if someone turns you down that doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you and there isn't something wrong with them either.  its not really anyone's fault.  most of the time people don't just see each other and meet and boom they like each other or whatever.  so yeah.  good people sometimes gotta hurt each other.

but its when the bad guy tells his girlfriend that she's not pretty or when an idiot father says something terrible to his daughter that girls will start having eating disorders or trouble trusting men.  again, its depressing to know that its such a problem here.

i can go on, but i don't want to.  i think i've made my point.  so instead, i want to end with a positive note.  (YEAH! POSITIVE!)

first off, i want to mention all the good guys out there.  seriously, you bros rock.  we live in a world were there's a lot of dirtbag men out there.  society likes to tell us that men are all terds.  but you don't care, cause you're a good guy.  you still do what you can to be nice to people.  you treat women like they deserve.  you love your mom.  you feel bad when you aren't as good as you want to be.  and you're just awesome dudes in general. 

keep it up, bros.  even when its hard.  cause yall are total muffins of the stud variety.

Treat women right, bros.  Mario is a great example.  He fights legions of goombas, koopa troopas, piranha plants, and bullet bills in order to give Boswer the axe and save the Princess.  And she appreciates a good man who treats her right.

Some of you dudes may feel like Luigi, just as good a guy as his brother Mario, yet many people don't even know his name.  Just keep fighting, bros.  Your princess is in another castle.

second, a word to all the really nice girls out there.  i've been able to meet a lot of really awesome women in the past few months.  i'm pretty sure that it's nice women that keep the world from falling apart.  so to all yall lady-types, don't give up on the good guys.  cause they're around.  sure, we're dumb, and yall are really patient with that, but we're still good.  don't give up.. and you'll find your own Mario... or Luigi.

anyways... yeah.  that's it.  i have a history book to go finish reading now... though i'd rather be playing Super Mario Bros..

leveling up

this is your time to shine.  the moment you've been waiting for.  you've just trudged through Victory Road.  the door to Indigo Plateau is open, and you're ready to become a master.  you're ready to take on the Elite Four.

you've trained hard, you've fought well, and your team is ready.  you step into the first room to challenge the greatest trainers in the world.

then it happens.

WHAT!? that dewgong is LEVEL 54!?!  thats way more than your level 46 pokemon can handle.  and thats only the first trainer!!

now, to be real here, probably the first time most of us played the game we all just had our starter at a ridiculously high level and then the rest of our team was pathetic.  or full of legendary birds.  we stocked up on full restores and max revives just to keep our venusaur/charizard/blastoise alive till the end.  but i'm talking about the time you actually played it through to train your whole team, all your favorites to the end. and you just happen to find that they're underleveled

yeah, go figure.  whats more embarrassing than having your team roughly 6-10 levels under the trainers that you're challenging?  what could have gone wrong?  yo have enough type variability to take on anyone.  they evolved and became poweful.  you taught your pokemon great moves from their natural learning and TMs, and you made sure to get rid of those useless moves, like LEER.  you even had empathy with them.

but its still not enough.  you're going to have to go through the same grueling process that tormented you when you couldn't beat that boss in final fantasy.  you're gonna have to get outside, march through that tall grass, and start leveling up.

its the most boring part of any RPG.  you're not strong enough to beat the boss, so you have to fight whatever to get enough experience, GP, and strength points to get the job done.  you go out.  you fight.  you get beat up.  you go to the pokemon center or the inn.  and then you start over.  and over.  and over.  and walked.. and walked.. and walked....

then you get there. you're strong enough.  your team is in the mid 50's and they're ready to tear it up. 

you slap around the elite for like they're nothing.  then you get to the end.  the real deal.  the final battle with your rival.

yeah.  he means business now.  he's even got a flashy jacket on...

and well, what happens?  you own him.  like a pro.  why?  cause you trained, you battled, and you know whats going on.  all that leveling up made your team strong enough to spank his.  you knew what types to use and when.  great job, champ.  you're a pokemon master.



when it comes to things that really matter, we're pretty much all like pokemon trainers.  we all want to be the best.  like no one ever was.  but sometimes, when we get to where we want to be going, when we think our journey's over... we realize that we're a little bit underleveled.  we're not quite who we thought we were.  and that could be a bit embarrassing.

well what can we do now?  is that it?  is it over, are we destined to be losers?

um, no.  we're not.  we just need to do some leveling up.  we need to get our there and march through the tall grass so to speak, looking for wild pokemon to battle.

i feel like thats where a lot of us are right now.  pretty much everyone has something they want to get better at.  they want to reach that next level, maybe even evolve to a more powerful version of themselves.  so we get our there and hone our skills.  sometimes its hard, sometimes it hurts, and sometimes we get beat up.  and unlike the video games, there isn't always a pokemon center or an inn that we can go to that will instantly recover all our HP and make our problems go away.  we may not always have a fairy telling us where to go next or a professor to wisely tell us not to ride our bike indoors.

but also unlike the video games, the skills we gain now and the 'leveling up' we do in life will actually get us somewhere.  we'll be good at some cool job or something.  or we'll be good at helping people in some way.  some of us are fire types.. some of us can learn moves like razor leaf or water gun.

i guess the point is, that we're all good at things, and we all want to be way better than we really are.  we want things in our lives but its hard to wait for the right time or to have to work for them.  its like we're in the middle of the treacherous 'leveling up' phase.


but in the end, when you beat your rival, when you become a master its all worth it.  its just being there in the middle of it all that's the hard part.

mullets. are. WRONG.

that is all.

ever get the feeling..

you ever get that feeling, like when you're playing Metroid?  you know, that moment you walk into a room and the music gets all quiet and eerie, and just know that something bad is about to go down.  its like at any moment Kraid can pop outta nowhere or the SA-X will come in to thrash you.

 

Even the NES knows how to creep you out

or what about that feeling you get when you're playing Battletoads?  (ok... so there's probably only like three of you who know what i'm talking about).  i'm talking about after you play the jetbike level 50 times.  after you get through the ridiculous surfing or the snake pit.  it comes right around the time you get flatted by a random gigantic gear rolling around through the water pipes.  or when the clinger-winger beats you around a corner and runs you over for the 20th time.  then the dark queen laughs at your face and Professor T. Bird mocks your incompetence, and you're like... really?

your out of lives.  your continues are gone.  and what do you do?  start over!? play through it again from the beginning!?

are you insane? maybe.  are you trying to prove that you're awesome?  beating the jet bikes already proved that.  you know the game is pretty much impossible.  but you keep fighting on.  you know your chances of beating it without cheating are so low that even C3-PO couldn't calculate the odds.  yet you give another fighting rat the big bad boot. 

i have beat this level many times.  but i have never beat this game.

what is it that keeps us going, even though we might feel like an alien will pop out to kill us an any moment?  how do we keep ourselves fighting, no matter how many times we crash into those random pink walls or fall into the pit of mysterious yellow orbs?

i dunno. i don't really know what it is that keeps us going again and again.  but it's something we need to hold onto.

recently i have been trying to get better at being brave.  at standing up for myself.  at not letting people walk all over me.  i wouldn't say its the greatest of my traits, but i have been improving.  it takes some stretching, it takes some discomfort.

but that's how it is.  being brave aint being fearless.  its about standing up and fighting on even when you're scared out of your mind.  its what this kid does from Legend of Zelda

well all know that Link is pretty much fearless.  he's got the Triforce of Courage, he knows how to use a sword like a pro, there really aint nothing stopping him from saving the world.  and then we got this kid, (his name is Collin) who is probably scared out of his freaking head, watching these monsters come in to take over, and he steps it up.  like a man.  he won't ever use a sword, he can't ever conquer a dungeon, and he isn't ever gonna face it off with Ganondorf.  but what he did was no less brave than all the heroic stuff Link does.

we can be brave no matter what life throws at us.  even if we can't beat the game, even if we can't pass the second level.  we don't always have to win to face it like a champ.

and if we do win, the fight becomes that much more worth the effort.  if we don't then we will be that much more ready to be brave when our time to win does come.

we had no idea

when i was a little kid, i voluntarily allowed my older sister to interview me about how much i hated girls and how they were gross.  at one point she had asked if i was ever going to get married, and, having always had been a baby enthusiast, i told her that i would only get married so that i could have kids.  at the time i didn't completely know all the implications of what i had just said.  looking back.. i find it hilarious.

it is an uncle's duty to impede his nephew's/niece's learning by joking around with them and teaching them false or otherwise silly/useless things.  my older brother taught our nephew to say "drop a duke."  i taught him the nerdy internet version of the word "own," also known as "pwn."  my nephew would often talk about dropping dukes, and one day, at the end of one of his little kid monologues, he ended by saying, "and then, we pwned ourselves!"

he had no idea what he was saying.  and it was hilarious.

at the beginning of the semester, a bunch of my roommate's crap was put in the trunk of my car.  for some reason it got everything stuck and the trunk could not open.  one day i was talking with my dear mother, and she had asked about how the car was running, and i told her about how it was good except for that the trunk didn't open.  she didn't know the situation, and so after explaining it to her, she said, "well you should probably get that taken care of.  you don't want all that junk in your trunk."


she had no idea what she was saying.  and it was hilarious.

the greatest wizards of our time

let me just first of say, that i really do like harry potter and am very excited for the next movie to come out.  i probably couldn't see it on opening night cause of a lack of tickets, but either way i plan to watch it when i go home for the summer cause my brother and i have consistently watched like.. all of them in marathons when a new one comes out.  can't crap out when the series is finished, right?  though, while the marathon is fun, i will warn all yall that you will go through withdrawals after watching that much harry... i'm not even joking there.

so yes i am a harry fan.  great books, great movies.  just remember that when i proceed to tear apart certain aspects of it later in this post.

so anyways, i've seen a lot of movies and played a lot of video games that have to do with wizards.  i've noticed a lot of similarities and i've noticed some really silly things about many of them.  first off, we'll look at some common trends.

first off, there's always the good guys.  in movies, its likely that the wizards are in training or something, in video games, a wizard typically means its a scrawny lil whimp who can't do much damage and has terrible HP and defense.  but his MP (or mana if you will) is through the roof and he can probably nuke all the enemies on the screen no problemo.

k, next is the old guys.  seriously.  every movie about wizards and just about every fantasy movie or video game just has to have the old guy who also happens to be a wizard, who also know pretty much everything about everything but is really really vague about the fact that he knows everything about everything and then may or may not die for some amount of the time but has to also come back in some form or fasion so that all the fanboys don't get mad.  yeah.

then you got the bad guys.  typically, they're power hungry snots who exploit the fact that they're awesome wizards while they go tearing through the world (or just hiding in their castle) and looking for the source of ultimate power which will let them rule the world, which they pretty much achieve but since the bad guys have to lose, there's always some loophole with the ultimate power thing that can allow Link or Harry to take em down.  yeah... its a good thing Voldemort never got the Triforce, cause dang... we'd be in big trouble.


anyways, now that i've outlined some of the basics of wizardry... i'm gonna start making fun of it.  the first target will be Harry and his universe.  sorry, yall.


the thing that really bothers me about the harry potter world is just the way that everyone has to do magic.  maybe its cause i grew up watching magic users cast flare or luminare for the mere cost of 20 MP and destroying all the enemies on the screen effortlessly, but i just have trouble taking it seriously when in order to cast a dang spell you gotta flick your wrist correctly and say the proper incantation.  sure, it was nice and fun and cute in the first couple of books/movies, which were clearly more intended for children then the later ones.  i think the what really did it for me was when like the series started getting really dark, and like they're doing the evil ritual with harry's blood and wormtail's cut off hand and tom riddle's dad's bones in order to bring voldemort back to life, (which, by the way was the point in the series that my 88 year old grandma just happened to walk into during my brother/my marathon) and so you have go the most evil, powerful wizard brought back to life and he's ready to tear the world apart and like the first thing he says in his terrifying, commanding all-powerful, all evil voice is, "where is my wand?"

sorry, voldy.  no matter how bad A you look, no matter how terrifying your return is, no matter how many acting classes you took and times you ran over that phrase, i just can't take you seriously anymore after that line.


and i still think a well-placed sniper could do the job against voldemort.  just saying..

well, at least voldemort got one thing right.  when he decided to take over the world, he pretty much took it over.  he gained so much momentum by the last book it was ridiculous.  that tends to be a common failure of the bad guy.  like, oh Ganondorf for example.

i love the Legend of Zelda.  I love just about everything about it.  i still think that Ganon is one of the greatest villains ever.  but really, dude?  you got the triforce of power.  you're a superpowerful wizard.  you're capable of tearing Hyrule apart at your pleasure.  what do you do with all that power?

oh.  you sit in your castle waiting for link to slowly get all the items and heart containers and blue potions so that he can come in and kick your trash after saving the maidens or sages or whoever's gonna help him get into your dang tower.  oops.. well, at least the organ lessons paid off..

and yeah, relocating everyone in the castle town to kakariko village isn't really gonna land you in the world-class evildoer club.

yet i still practically pooped myself when i played the game last and opened up the door of time and HE WAS RIGHT. FREAKING. BEHIND ME!! AAHHH!


i could also make fun of the fact that gandalf pretty much didn't do anything with his wizardy powers except for make his staff all shiny only to get it broken 2 seconds later... but Lord of the Rinds fanboys are the scariest and so i won't say anything more..



anyways that's all i have to say about wizardry for now.  if i was a wizard, i definitely wouldn't be wand-dependent, and if i was an evil all-powerful wizard i doubt i'd just wait around in my castle while the good guys are out leveling up enough to kill me.

then again, its not like fiction was always supposed to make that much sense anyways...

DOUBLE BIRTHDAY ALL THE WAY!!!

Today is the birthday of two of my FAVORITE PEOPLE EVER.  EVER.  my super awesome sister Mandy, and her son (and my nephew) Miles.

That is Mandy.

This is Miles.

 They are both awesome, and i am going to tell you why.

Mandy had been my older sister since forever.  cause when they're older they're always there.  Mandy is roughly 12 years older than i am so she went to college when i was pretty little.  that's probably why i don't remember much about her from my childhood and its also a large factor into my vast ignorance about womanly things.  or whatever. 

here are some of my childhood memories about my sister Mandy:

-my turtle hates her.  and her friends.  i dunno why, but it just hated them.

-typically, Mandy would protect me from my older brothers.  in fact, i can't really ever remember a time where she has been mean to me.

-every Christmas when i was a little guy i would wake up and go into my sister's room and she would read me Christmas books in order to help me deal with the painstaking wait for my parents to get up.

Me and Mandy, i think around the time that she was about my age now and i was like 9 or 10

there's probably more, but again.. i was a little kid and she moved on to grown-up things before i even discovered pokemon. 

luckily for me, Mandy moved back to our hometown after she was done with college and my brother in law got done with law school and stuff.  for a while she even lived next door to us and so during my high school times i got to be BFFs with my sister.

so it kind of goes without saying that Mandy is awesome.  she was a middle school english teacher (middle school teachers must be saintly) before she became a full time momma (yet another saintly occupation).  she got married when i was 10 so from a young age i had another example of a good marriage besides my parents.  i have also had the opportunity to learn epic parenting skills from my sister and her kids.  

Mandy's always been one to stand up for what's right.  like always.  she isn't afraid to put me in my place when i get overly sarcastic or outspoken.  she doesn't really put up with crap when people give it to her.  but she is also patient with people who you need to be patient with.  pretty much she's just a really good example of a really good, faithful person.  yeah.

whenever i am home in california, i enjoy going to Mandy's house to hang out.  whether its talking to her while folding laundry, playing with her kids, watching a movie, or wrecking her at Dr. Mario, i love spending time with my big sister very much.

well it's Mandy's birthday today and i hope its a good one.  she would have gotten to chill out and relax earlier today, but she ended up watching her neighbor's kids, cause they're having a baby today too.  yeah.  way to help people on your birthday.

BUT, as if it wasn't enough, today is also Miles' birthday.  Mandy's firstborn.  my first nephew. 

this is me with Miles the day that he was born.

14 year old Scott holding lil Baby Miles.

Here are some awesome Miles facts that i bet you didn't know:

-Miles is left-handed.

-when he was a baby, Miles learned my name before everyone else.  he used to commando crawl all around the house (cause he did that all the time before he normal crawled) and he would call me "gott" and everyone else "da da."  yeah.  that is awesome.

-when he was about 1 or so i would watch him frequently during the mornings in the summer.  one day we somehow came up with a game where i would get a bunch of the ice outside of the icemaker in their fridge and we would try to throw ice into this watering can in his backyard.  it was a pretty hard game.  but pretty much every day i'd come over he would say "ice" and we would play.  

-Miles likes to draw.

-Miles has recently developed of a love of pokemon.  it makes me quite happy.  when my brother got married, Miles spent much of the reception playing pokemon gold version with my sister in law's lil brother who is the same age as Miles.  Miles has a lot to learn about pokemon, though.  he kept telling me how he was having his chikorita use leer on a geodude... sigh...

well, there you have it.  double birthday all the way... so intense.  it makes me really really happy that these two people are totally in my life and totally in my family. 

another castle? really?

i've got a lot of different thoughts on how i want to say this.  hopefully it all works together.  hopefully.

i will start off as i often do.  with Nintendo.  Super Mario Bros.  1985.  a great game.  it changed the world.  it changed my life.  Mario has to fight through 8 worlds with 4 level each against an onslaught of goombas, koopa troopas,  buzzy beetles, bullet bills, paratroopas, hammer bros, lakitus, and even Bowser himself.  at the end of every world is a castle level where you have to face off with Bowser.  you'd think you would find the princess on the other side of the king of koopas every time.  however, your experience is more likely to end up like this.

sorry.  she aint here.  can i take a message?

yesterday before church started, my bishop asked as he often does why i'm not married yet.  i didn't really want to hear it so i kind of bit back at him and asked why he always asks me that.  after a bit i think he saw it was frustrating me because he said how everyone bothered him after he was home from serving a mission and now its his turn to bother me.  i think from now on he wont bother me as much or it will be more of a joke than anything.

before i go on i just need to say that i have a very good bishop and i dont want people to think that i hate him or whatever.  he's very good man (as most bishops are) and him and his counselors are a big factor to my staying in this ward. 

 anyways, the frustrations i was relating to him was that i wasn't a lazy turd not asking girls out.  they just weren't saying yes.  he said to just keep trying or whatever.

here's the interesting thing though... they may not always say yes... but aren't exactly saying no either.  

the other night i was driving to a ward activity with my friend, and somehow this came up.  we were both lamenting over our inability to ever get a second date, and we came to a debate.. (well more of a discussion since we both saw good points in each other) as to whether its better for a girl to just say no when asked out... or to lie about it.  to give some vague answer about being busy or being gone or whatever.  

Dear Elizabeth,

I hope you're doing well.  And I think it's so awesome that you're out.. monitoring glacier patterns in some remote part of Alaska where no one can get a hold of you... I thought I'd try anyway. 

upon talking to other friends about it, the general consensus seemed to be that its better to lie.  now why would we do that?  some advantages were presented to me: 

you're not hurting the guy by saying no.  bluntly put, getting turned down hurts and there's no real way around that.  and for the most part, girls feel bad about it cause, well, its not really the nicest thing to do.  but it has to be done.  

building off of that, if you say something vague like "i'm busy" or "my family's in town,"  chances are that the guy might forget about it and move on and no real damage is done.  no one has to get hurt and no one has to feel bad.

 this is pretty much the predominating thought in our culture.  i'm not gonna say it's wrong.... but i'm not gonna say its right either.  quite frankly its been frustrating the crap out of me.  here's why.

bluntly put, guys are pretty shallow.  im no exception to that.  we can usually tell pretty quick if we like someone enough to want to date her or not.  i'm not saying i want to make someone my girlfriend within ten minutes of meeting her, but generally speaking, i will know if i want to take someone on a date pretty quickly.  for whatever reason, when it hits me its all at once and pretty strong.  like the little naked baby angel just pulls out his adorable lil heart arrows and that's it.  

that isn't to say that if i don't like after the first time i ever talk to her than that's it and she has no chance.  sometimes i meet someone and its really quick, and sometimes its someone who i'm friends with and one day it just kind of hits me that she's totally amazing.  (the second way is usually better anyways).

so anyways, let's say the lil guy lands a lil heart bullseye on me.  i can genuinely say that i like someone.  its not like crazy true love or whatever, but i can say that she's cute or whatever, i can pick out things about her personality that are attractive, and life is just a little bit better when i'm around her.  i'd say its enough to warrant a first date, wouldn't you?

asking someone out is typically a nightmare fore me.  it doesn't matter how nice she is.  it doesn't matter how funny i can be around her.  it doesn't matter how good of friends we are, or how good she looks that day.  the process of approaching, asking, getting the phone number and all that... its just hard. but i can deal with it.  

i've never had a girl say no to a first date.  sometimes they don't say yes, but for a first date they pretty much always have a legitimate reason.  

the hard part though is the dreaded process of asking for a second date.  sure, i may have got the first date, but then again, i've beat world 1 of Super Mario millions of times.  and world 2 is just that much harder.  (ok so usually i don't lose a life till world 4.. but you get the idea). 

at this point she isn't obligated to say yes anymore.  she's humored me with the first date and if she doesn't want me around she shouldn't have to put up with it.  by asking for the second date, (and third, fourth, etc) i'm taking more and more risks.  i'm telling her she's worth my time more than anyone else.  i'd rather be spending my time with her than with other girls, my friends, my brothers, whoever.  

so she's got some options here.  she can tell the truth by saying yes, cause she wants to go on another date, she can say no thanks, because she honestly doesn't see it going anywhere... or she can give the ever popular vague answer and leaves it up to me to figure it out. 

well i'm not an idiot, people.  if she says something like "ohhh i'm busy," or "that weekend won't work," or "i'm just not sure," and then doesn't say that maybe another time will work or that she really would like to but cant... yeah, i'm gonna assume that she doesn't want to go out again.

but i am so. fetching. sick. of giving up every time i get an answer like that.  people say you're supposed to be persistent, right?  if i get a vague answer, i'm gonna call again.  i'm gonna tell her i think she's worth my time again.  

a friend told me that a friend or relative of hers asked his wife out SEVEN TIMES before they finally went on a date.  seven!  Super Mario has eight worlds! eight before he gets the princess! its no different!

ok, does persistence like that really work all the time though?  for that one guy who made it, how many other guys called a chick seven times before she finally just said no?  

i really do want to be brave and persistent.  but i also really dont want to be that guy who always calls and bugs the crap out of someone cause she's just too dang nice to say no.  at what point is being persistent just being a dang pest?  was Mario really all that persistent and brave, or did the princess just hide herself in world 8 on purpose, hoping that he'd get the hint by world 4?

Hmm, a "new quest," huh?  so i guess the first 8 worlds weren't enough to prove my interest...

well there's gonna be a point where i'm gonna stop.  i don't want to keep getting vague answers.  i want to be brave and stuff but i for one am not gonna drive myself insane chasing a girl who doesn't want me to chase her!  why not?  cause i respect myself too, dang it!  if i go through the effort of trying to impress a girl, i think i deserve to know what she thinks.  if the answer is "yes," then great! we'll keep going from there.  that doesn't mean you have to be in love with me and that doesn't mean i even expect you to like me right off the bat.  and if the answer is "no," that's ok too!  really, thank you for at least giving an answer!  if you don't know yet, that's ok too!  you can say that too!  we can talk about it!  maybe it will help you to.

Dear Elizabeth,

Again, I hope you're doing really good. I haven't heard from you yet, but... Anyways, the weirdest thing!  I met your identical twin sister, Liz, the other night at a party!  Wow, she looks just like you!  It's so trippy... Anyway, she said you miss me but not to try to get a hold of you cause you're real busy... and the weirdest thing is, I guess she's joining you on the expedition?  Wow, that's totally cool!

i think girls worry way too much about "hurting a guy" and "feeling bad."  i for one know very well that i'm risking getting turned down every time i ask a girl out.  i prepare my head for the worst scenario every time (that way its always good hahah).  but really.  my world isn't gonna come crashing down if you say no. i have enough self respect to know that if a girl says no, that doesn't mean im a freak or a loser.  she just wasn't shot by the little naked baby angel, and thats just fine.

its ok.  i know i'm awesome either way.

when my friend said that its ok to lie because the guy will probably forget by the next week or two, i had to say that i didn't agree with that.  if a girl strikes me as someone that i want to date, i'm not gonna just forget about her cause she cant go out with me for one weekend.  i'm not so dumb that i don't know you might have another date that week or something, and you're not so unattractive that i would forget about you after a week or two.  thats just how it is. 

yeah.  i have a good memory.  sometimes is a curse.

anyways, i'm not going to say that we should always just say no every time.  its probably different for different people.  but i hope i at least got you thinking.  i think i would usually prefer to just be told no, because i already have enough trouble as it is standing up for myself and for what i want.  i tend to take the easy way out of things, and if a girl says 'not this week,' and keeps saying it, i tend to just back off.  but i'm kind of at the point now where i'm tired of that.  there's a lot of really amazing girls at this university.  i meet one almost every week.  i'm just tired of being afraid to say how i feel cause of the vague answers i get.  

but i see the point in being vague as well.  so really i don't know what to do (surprise surprise).

Dear Elizabeth and Liz,

I hope you're doing well.  Anyway, I was at the mall, and I met your identical cousin, Beth.. I didn't even know that they had identical cousins and it made me miss you even more..

hopefully this doesn't sound too bitter.  overall i am very happy with how this year has been.  i have a really great ward full of really amazing women, and just as many girls that i've met through class or activities or people setting me up with them.  some of my best friends who i met within the last year are girls who i liked but they didn't end up feeling the same way.  they've been great enough not to make it weird when it didn't work.  and heck, who knows, maybe the lil baby angel will shoot one of them down the road.

so yeah. i really am happy.  thanks to all the women who've played a big part in my life.  thanks to my mom and sister for teaching me how to treat and respect women.  thanks to the girls who actually called themselves my girlfriend at some point.  thanks to the girls who have said "yes," "no," and every last thing in between.

and thanks to the AQUABATS for provided the hilarious song lyrics in between paragraphs, which just so nicely fit with the subject matter. 

...bbbring..

"Hello?"

"Hello, uh, is this Elizabeth?"

"Yes it is"

"Elizabeth, its me, Roger!  From the beach.."

"Oh, did I say Elizabeth, I mean, um... its Francine..."

"Ohh... Francine?"

"Yeah, I'm watching their house while they're gone over in Europe."

"Europe, I thought they were in Alaska"

"Oh did I say Ala.. yeah, Alaska, they're in Alaska, well, whatever, Europe, Alaska its the same.  Well, they're gonna be changing this phone number, so you probably shouldn't call here anymore, ok? Ok, bye."

"....oh, man."

if i had superpowers

when i was a little kid, i wanted to be the hero who would save the day and make everything awesome and stuff.  i would probably have awesome superpowers or be really good at sword fighting or something.  my nephew does a pretty good job at reflecting what i could have been..

not a great quality picture... cause facebook didn't let me get the large size off my brother's profile.. whatever

oh wait.  never mind.  that isn't my nephew.  that is Super King.  my nephew's name is Phil, and he doesn't have anything to do with that guy.  duh.

many kids drop their hopes and dreams in order to try and be popular or whatever by the time they're in high school.  well.. that didn't really happen for me.  i still wanted to be a superhero.  in fact, my best friend Sean Morris and i made this joke about how we were superheroes.  then again maybe i kind of dragged him into it...

you see, it all started my freshman year of high school.  Sean Morris and i would carpool home.  next to his house was this vacant lot with tons of weeds and dirt and stuff, in addition to one of the coolest things i have ever seen in my life.

The Zebra Outhouse.

well, i don't totally remember how it all started, but basically, we decided that we were superheroes and we based our super-adventures out of the Zebra Outhouse.  we made a crappy website to document our adventures, and claimed our hometown under our jurisdiction, calling ourselves the Zebra Outhouse Superheroes.

there's the team.  me, my best friend, and a skeleton (or El Skeledonte, as we called him).  not pictured is my nephew, who was a baby at the time.  cause every superhero team is way better with a baby on it.

our adventures included hiding in trash cans to bother our friend Erica, throwing water balloons at people (only once), babysitting my nephew, buying push-ups after being denied ice cream, fighting concourses of ninjas too great to number, and thwarting the plans of our friend Louie who was an evil genius (mainly because he always like being the bad guy and cause he went to a private all guys school instead of ours).

well to build on the Zebra Outhouse Universe (and cause i was really bored sometimes) i started making crappy-quality MS paint comics of the Zebra Outhouse Superheroes.  the comics starred our superhero alter-egos: "The Gremlin" (a short little green gremlin guy with plunger power based on me) "Commanderwho" (an awkward panda-man based on Sean) and El Skeledonte as himself.  the superheroes had to deal with hordes of ninjas sent by an evil genius, to other things such as dealing with a rat problem or accidentally breaking the sun.  half of the time they were doing the bidding of the gigantic chicken king (based on another high school friend) who would either send them on adventures to save the world or make them do more trivial tasks like fixing his plumbing or getting him fast food (which always proved to be dangerous).

our senior year Sean and i made a flash cartoon in our digital media class that was totally based on the comics that i was making and the running joke we had all throughout high school.  we did all the animations and drawings, all the voices (except for the girl voice) and my brother made a soundtrack for us.  it was pretty rad.


well i got to college and you'd assume that i would have outgrown my desire to be a superhero by now.  then again, you'd also think i would have outgrown my love of pokemon, and that clearly hasn't happened either.

i often think about what it would be like if i had superpowers.  what would i have?  super strength?  fire breath?  laser vision?  sub-zero ice punches?  invisibility?  psychic powers?  flying?  a rock-like exterior?  fish talking abilities?

i pretty much think about it every day.  i think i've decided how it would go down.

first off, the ideal form of superheroism would actually take place in a cartoon universe.  seriously.  instead of having actual superpowers, i'd much rather just live in a cartoon world and abide by the laws of carton physics and just be awesome on top of that.  i could just call myself a superhero for fighting bad guys.

you see, you don't really need superpowers with cartoon physics.  in a cartoon world, i could run away super fast if i had to, be as strong as i need to be at times (yet very weak at other times), and i could pull any weapon of any sort out from behind my back at any time.  what's this? a horde of ninjas?  well, good thing i can pull out any of an assortment of plungers, mallets, maces, or pretty much anything i want!

another great thing about living in a cartoon world is that no matter how beat up i get, no matter how many ninjas pummel me to the ground, i wouldn't ever die!  sure, i may have some bandages on me for like.. the rest of the episode if that, but there's no way i could ever be killed.  heck, half the time it isn't even certain if i'm killing the ninjas themselves or if they're just being knocked out... either way they keep coming back to life anyways.  but i wouldn't ever die, and i wouldn't ever lose.  why?  cause you can't kill the main character, that's why!

well i have to be content with the fact that i'm not in a cartoon world, so i figure i have to have real superpowers instead.  sooo what would i choose?  well, after thinking long and hard about it, i have decided that there is only one perfect superpower for me:

MARINE COMMUNICATION!  i would love to talk with fish!  that would be the most epic thing ever!  the violent crime rampaging the ocean would cease to exist under my awesome reign! fish, whales, and dolphins alike would all finally be able to tell us their feelings and thoughts about things like.. surfing.. and plankton.

ok yeah.  i'm totally joking.  i would never pick the lamest superpower ever thought up of.

Sorry Aquaman. but even the Wonder Twins are more useful than you are.

no for real now.  if i had superpowers i would definitely want to be psychic.  lemme tell you why.

first off, i'm not buff.  my muscles are in no way imposing on... anything.  so even if i had super strength, i'm not sure if i'd even know how to fight with it.  but if i was psychic.. it would be easy.  bad guy points a gun at me?  i'd toss it out of his hand.  with my brain.  guy wants to try and tackle me?  ok, if you dont mind me levitating upwards so you jump and tackle the ground?  what's that?  missiles heading towards the earth?  no problem, i'll just send a telepathic message to Superman telling him what's up.  with my brain.

that's right.  i'd stop crime, save the world, and sweet talk the ambassador's daughter all while maintaining a mild-mannered alter-ego who doesn't do much other than poop himself at the sight of danger. 



well, thats what life would be like if i was more awesome.  but, i'll just have to deal with being normal old Scott.  it aint bad, but i certainly couldn't fight anyone anytime soon.  for now i'll just keep waiting for the day when i get zapped by lightning or get trapped in a radioactive explosion or touch some weird meteorite from space, giving me my awesome super-awesomeness.

of course, for all you know, it could have already happened by now.

my dad

this is my dad.  and me when i was like 13 or whatever. 

 

 

 

yeah.  pretty epic.

someday i might be as epic as my dad.  might be.  anyways, here are some reasons why my dad is awesome, in no particular order


i haven't really ever like math all that much, but i have to appreciate the fact that its like totally my dads thing.  well not totally, but hes good enough at it that he was like a good accountant and stuff.  basically, cause of that he had a good enough job that i could eat and like be alive and go to college and stuff.  plus, he was always home between 6 and 630.  i would always wait by the door and pop out and scare him when i was a little kid.  i dont know why he never really got mad at me for that.  then again he never really got mad anyways so yeah..

of course during tax season he wouldn't be home until like... late.  real late.  except for fridays cause he would get home on time to go out with my mom.  yeah.  totally got his priorities right.

its never really been a question about whether or not my parents love each other.  whether it was dad taking mom on a date pretty much every week or catching them kissing in the kitchen (which when you're a little kid its like eewww) OR (take note, brethren) when my dad would give my mom flowers on each of the kid's birthdays just to say thanks for having the child.  yeah.  so legit.

dad pretty much didnt have any hobbies cause he'd just rather be with his family.  he came to a lot of my elementary school field trips and was at almost every sports match or band concert or whatever we were doing. 

dad was always really good at taking care of old ladies.  like he'd always help them out and stuff.  on the other end of the spectrum, he also had talent at like helping with little babies and getting them to sleep and stuff. 

most importantly my dad taught me how to rely on Jesus Christ.  the way he acted and the way he treated people was a pretty dang good example of what the Savior would do Himself.  cause of my dad i know that work is super important (as much of a lazy pile i can be) and that God and family are the most important things. ever. 

so yeah.  happy fathers day, yall.