its pretty much happened to all of us. if not personally, we at least know someone who its happened to. perhaps we have only seen it on TV, and if that is the case... well then that's just silly.
things seem to be going great. just wonderful. but then you start to notice the changes. you see, you've got your special someone.. but they start acting less and less special. he or she starts acting weird around you, starts kind of getting distant. you don't wanna bring it up though, cause maybe you're just going crazy. maybe they're probably just having a bad day. make that a bad week. add another bad week to that...
after a while its just unbearable. either you take a stand for yourself and ask what's up.. or they finally man up and bring it up themselves. you don't really want it to happen, but then it does. the moment we've all be waiting for- your not-so-special-anymore someone plunges his or her hand into your chest like the creepy voodo guy in Temple of Doom and rips your heart out and then throws it into a blender. its over. its totally over. and then, in an effort to not feel terrible about what they have done, your no-longer-special someone pours a little extra lemon juice into your gaping wound by uttering the timeless line, "maybe we can still be friends..."
friends!? after what you just did to me? you shake your fist in bitterness as your "friend" walks away, drinking a your heart flavored milkshake.
of course, being friends with someone after breaking up isn't impossible. it isn't exactly a piece of delicious Bobby Moulder cake either. i guess once you get past the initial shock and get over your own bitterness then yeah.. its all good. or something like that. i'm not exactly BFF's with any of my ex ladyfriends, nor would i consider them enemies or anything.
now putting that all aside, that's not really what i've been thinking about lately.. i haven't dumped anyone or been dumped in... oh, quite some time. but the topic does relate to another funny thing that's been running through my mind as of late.
imagine that your special-or-not-so-very-special-at-all friend and you are totally fine. you're totally friends and everything's good. then your friend goes and gets married. cool! awesome! your friend is totally happy and they are looking forward to an awesome life ahead of them. but oh, by the way, you can't be friends with them anymore. i dont really know how or when it exactly happens, but somewhere during the engagement or marriage process or something, they drop off the planet. they're just gone. and when you try to talk to them or something, they just pretend you aint real. and then you feel like a punk cause its like they assume that you're hitting on them or something.
and it doesn't even have to be someone you dated or wanted to. its happened with plenty of my friendgirls who i never intended on dating. yet its still the same. heck, it even goes the same with my manfriends as well. they go and get married and at some point fall off the planet. boom. gone. no more friend. the only way to possibly get them back is to get married yourself. then you're allowed to be friends with them again.
scientists have been baffled as to why this happens. no conclusion has been reached, however speculations have occurred. obviously, if someone gets to the point where they're marrying someone, they've probably been spending pretty much all their time with that person, and not their other friends. but does that warrant dropping all your other friends out of your life?
one of my friends who is engaged laments at the fact that her friends are starting to drop like flies. the apparent cause is that these so-called friends are jealous of her position and have cut her off. some friends, i say! why wouldn't you be happy for your friends when they're clearly happy and good stuff's going for them? i dont get jealous of my friends when good stuff happens to them! i dont cut my friends off when they beat me at smash bros! (though i do let frustration get to me more often than i should).
what i really think is that there's some sort of secret police force that enforces secret marriage laws. you get warned about them when you get engaged, but you're so lovestruck and happy that you dont really think about it and really doubt that it would happen to you. then, when you're married, that's it. the laws are in place. if you and your spouse are caught having single people over, they come and get you. (and i'm not talking about cheating or foul play here. i'm just talking normal friendships with normal people). its why married people can only hang out with married people. otherwise they'll get you.
that's probably why married people are so dang obsessed with setting up all their single friends with each other. they dont feel like they're better than us or that we're lame, they just want their friends back! so what do they do? they have a party, and invite all their single friends, hoping to get them to meet up and date or something. anything to get their friends back. but by then its too late. their neighbors see the vast amount of single people coming to their house, and report the crime. the marriage police come in and take the couple into custody for questioning.
"but we were only trying to set our friends up with each other!" they plea during interrogation.
"hmmm.. alright, we'll just let you off with a warning.."
so there we have it. our friends are really just under the oppression of a secret police force. and until we overthrow them, we won't have our friends back.
and yeah, people, i know that there's boundaries and we can't be stupid. any guy with a brain should know that he shouldn't hang out with a married woman and let dumb things happen. i just think its funny that we even lose our bros to the marriage police.
at least for now i can be assured that my beloved pokemon will never let me down.
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